Happy Accidents
by DeliverUsFromEvie
Summary: What if Timmy's parents weren't his real parents? Would he still be the average kid no one understands? How much different would his life be? After Timmy makes a begrudging discovery about his day-to-day life, he never could've anticipated the events that would soon follow.
1. Routines

_A/N: Hello! So, this is my first (real) attempt at a multi-chaptered fanfic in approximately six years. Those old stories are all long, long gone by now... The fanfic bug never completely goes away, though, and I've recently come up with this. I hope you enjoy it! I've missed a lot of FOP episodes, so I'm sorry if something in this story clashes with canon. Or maybe I just don't like canon...hahaha. I'd be very appreciative of your feedback, in any case! (:_

* * *

It was a calm Saturday in the town of Dimmsdale. Birds were chirping and the sun was shining brightly upon the leisured townsfolk, the air riddled with shouts of greetings and well-wishes to one another and they went about their daily affairs.

Although Dimmsdale wasn't exactly known for being a normal town, today was stupendously normal.

And that was probably the reason that this day annoyed Timmy so much.

The pink-hatted boy sat on his bed, his arms crossed, staring irritably out his window. He could count down what was coming to him. _5, 4, 3, 2, 1_...

"_Oh, Timmy_!" Timmy's parents shouted in unison, barging into his room together.

"Guess what!" Timmy's dad continued on. "Your mother and I are going out!"

"And we're not taking you!" Timmy's mom added cheerfully. "Instead, we're going to leave you here with your favorite babysitter..._Vicky_!"

_SLAM_! The door shut behind them. Timmy didn't even turn around. He rolled his eyes. Another 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

...and the door was violently smashed into pieces.

"_HEY, TWERP_!" Vicky roared, revving up a chainsaw that she just so happened to be carrying with her. "_Ready for some playtime with your FAVORITE babysitter_?"

Timmy turned around at this point, his arms still crossed and unamused. "Is this going to take long?" he asked.

"Not if you can convince me that going quicker will be more painful and violent," Vicky replied, and began to laugh evilly as she stepped closer to Timmy.

Timmy watched her, keeping his same, deadpan expression as he was hoisted off of his bed by his shirt collar. In the blink of an eye, he found himself forced into doing hard labor for no other reason than to the cackling teenaged girl's amusement.

But did this faze or surprise him? Of course not, because it's what he did everyday. Rather than complain or act like he was in pain, the boy kept his apathetic mood the entire time.

While Timmy was doing his routine scrubbing of the floor tiles with his toothbrush, Vicky, who had grown tired of cackling—and was also disappointed in Timmy's lack of outward suffering—had left the boy to go watch television in the living room.

As soon as she had gone, the boy threw his toothbrush in disgust. Timmy's three fairies appeared in the room beside him.

"I'm sick of this," Timmy said irritably, standing up and ripping his cleaning apron off.

"Don't let Vicky get to ya, sport," Wanda reassured him lightheartedly, "You can always send something right back her way!"

"A fish tank of barracudas?" Cosmo suggested. "Or a man-eating octogator!"

Cosmo _poof!_ed up a giant, alligator-like creature with tentacles instead of arms or legs. The octogator immediately devoured him.

"It's not just that," Timmy grumbled, kicking over the bucket of soapy water he had beside him and marching out of the hallway.

Wanda, Poof, the octogator, and Cosmo—who had pushed the octogator's jaws open—watched Timmy with concern.

Timmy was now back in his room, sitting on his bed with his arms crossed like he had been earlier.

Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof appeared back beside him. "What do you mean, Timmy?" Cosmo asked.

Timmy rolled his eyes. "Oh, it's nothing," he sighed.

This only prompted Cosmo and Wanda to swoop in closer to him.

"Aww, come on, Timmy!" Wanda prompted, bringing her face up to the boy's. "You know you can tell us anything!"

"Yeah!" Cosmo also brought his face creepily close to Timmy's. "We're like your magical little _seeecret keeepers_..."

Timmy moved away from both of them, repulsed, and pulled a blanket over his head. "I might believe that if you guys weren't so weird."

Cosmo and Wanda flew back off the boy's bed to where they originally were and where Poof was, and exchanged a quasi-thoughtful glance.

After a moment, both of their expressions became pained.

"Oh, no. We knew this day was going to come sooner or later," Wanda said fretfully.

"What day?" Cosmo asked, now confused. Then he realized. "Ooh..._that_ day."

Poof gave his parents a strange look as they both flew down to the bed again, beside the lump in the sheets that was Timmy.

"Timmy," Wanda began gingerly, "there comes a time in every boy's life where they start having some..._feelings_..."

"Strong, _intense _feelings!" Cosmo emphasized. "Deep feelings like you've never had before!"

"And _when_ that happens," Wanda continued, "you should know it's completely natural and—"

"Oh, _God_, no!" Timmy exclaimed, quickly pulling the bedcovers off of his head. "No! No! No! For crying out loud, it's not _that_! I'll tell you guys what it is, just stop!"

"...oh," Cosmo and Wanda said in a surprised tone. They got up from his bed again.

"Alright then. What is it?" Wanda asked.

Timmy sighed and put his head in his hands. "Do you guys ever notice how everything is just...the same, everyday?"

Timmy jumped off his bed and began to pace the room pensively. "I mean, everyday, we go through pretty much the same thing. My parents have to go somewhere, I'm left with an evil, crazy babysitter. And if it's not that, I'm at school, with an evil, crazy teacher. And if it's not that, some other evil, crazy thing happens, and if I try to make a wish to get out of it, it almost always backfires and gets even _more_ crazy..."

"And evil!" Cosmo chimed in.

"And evil," Timmy repeated, and stopped pacing. "and there's nothing I can do except wish it all back to normal and accept my terrible life. It's like a routine. Don't you guys notice this?"

The three fairies gave Timmy some equally wide-eyed stares.

"Well, _yeees_..." Wanda said after a moment

"...but we have _fun_ doing it, don't we?" Cosmo added cheerfully.

Timmy rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I knew you guys wouldn't understand."

"Oh, Timmy, of course we understand!" Wanda stated, flying beside the boy. "But at the same time...what can you do? I mean, sure, you could _wish_ for a better life, but..."

"What could be better than _us_?" Cosmo asked, flying up to him as well.

Timmy looked up at his fairies, and he started to smile. "Yeah, I guess you're right. You guys are the best thing that could've happened to me."

Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof all pressed together and grinned at him.

However, the buck-toothed boy's smile began to falter a little. "But, still, sometimes I wonder...what it would be like if my life were different."

"Different how?" Wanda asked.

"Different, like..." Timmy tapped his chin. "Like, if I never had an evil babysitter. If my parents had never decided to hire Vicky that one day."

Timmy turned around and walked back over to his bed, looking thoughtful.

"But I guess it was inevitable they'd hire a babysitter at some point," he continued. "Considering."

"What do you mean by 'considering'?"

Timmy turned back around to face the trio. "Considering they have other things they always want to do. No time for me," he stated.

Wanda frowned. "Now Timmy, you know your parents love you."

"Of course they do. They have to. I'm their son." Timmy replied. "It's required."

"You shouldn't talk like that, Timmy," Wanda insisted, "your parents love and care about you very much—not because they _have_ to, but because they _want_ to."

"Even if they didn't want _you_ in the first place!" Cosmo added. This got him a glare from Wanda, and Cosmo glanced over at her skeptically. "...what?"

Wanda _poof!_ed the octogator back up and the creature once again snapped its jaws shut on Cosmo.

"No, no, it's alright, Wanda," Timmy assured casually, "I know the story of my parents. They never wanted a son, I'm a mistake. It's not news to me."

"You are _not_ a mistake!" Wanda exclaimed sharply, folding her arms. "Don't ever call yourself that!"

Cosmo once again pushed the octogator's jaws open to speak. "Yeah, Timmy! Just think of yourself as a _happy accident_!"

Wanda glared at him again, and the octogator slammed its mouth shut again.

Timmy shook his head. "He means well, Wanda. In any case, they still never wanted a kid. Let alone a boy, if it wasn't obvious by all of the _pink_ I'm constantly surrounded by."

"Now don't start against the color pink," Wanda spoke tenaciously, raising an eyebrow. Cosmo continued to wrestle with the octogator.

"Well, I'm just saying," Timmy said quickly. "And that goes along with this whole conversation. I'm just saying. I don't expect anything to change. After all, if I _did _try to change things, as we all know, it probably wouldn't last very long."

Timmy shrugged.

"...but that's just how it is, I guess."

"Well, you know, Timmy..." Wanda smiled warmheartedly, "there are a lot of things you can find to be thankful for in your life. You've just gotta look."

At that precise moment, a loud shout sounded from the hallway.

"_HEY, TWERP_!" Vicky yelled, "_GET BACK OUT HERE SO I CAN ABUSE YOU TO MY INSATIABLE DESIRE_!"

Timmy scoffed. "Yeah, whatever you say, Wanda."

And with that, the pink-hatted boy walked out of the room, leaving his three fairies (and an octogator) behind to watch him in wonder.

But little did Timmy—or any of them—know how much his entire life was about to change...drastically.

* * *

_A/N: ...I should have also apologized earlier for sexual references that I might make. Well, too late now._


	2. Sons or Daughters

The next morning, Timmy woke up. Still in the same gloomy and unexcited mood he had been the day before, the boy made his way downstairs to the kitchen to grab a bowl of cereal for breakfast. His parents were in the living room and paid no attention to him coming down the stairs, too busy watching one of those weird daytime reality shows.

Timmy sat down at the table with the bowl of cereal in front of him. Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof appeared in the room and floated beside him.

Timmy looked at them. "Well, guys. Ready for a brand-new, formulaic, completely predictable day?"

Wanda crossed her arms. "You're still in your _mood_, aren't you?"

Timmy stirred his corn flakes around in a circle. "Well, it's kind of hard not to be in one when you've just found out your life is actually a vicious cycle with the inevitable outcome of your perpetual misery."

"Now you're just being overdramatic."

"_Am_ I?" Timmy raised an eyebrow at his fairy godmother, who rolled her eyes.

"Cheer up, Timmy!" Cosmo said gleefully, "You've gotta be more _excited_ about life! There are surprises knocking at every door!"

At that precise moment, the doorbell rang.

"Or ringing the doorbell!" Cosmo exclaimed efficiently.

"Now that was just a weird coincidence," Timmy said dryly.

Mrs. Turner walked up to the front door and opened it. Two burly-looking policemen stood on the front porch.

"Hello, can I help you two?" Mrs. Turner asked.

The two men held up their police badges. "We're from the Dimmsdale Police Department," one of them said (as though it weren't obvious) in a manly, gruff tone, "Is this the Turner's residence?"

"Why, yes it is," Mrs. Turner blinked. "Do you two officers need something?"

"Mrs. Turner, we need you and your family to head the the police station with us immediately," the policeman stated imperatively.

While Mrs. Turner stood in the doorway staring at the two policemen, Mr. Turner came out of the living room.

"Oh, honey, are you—_EGAD_!" Mr. Turner gasped dramatically as he saw the two policemen. "The police? What do they want?"

Mrs. Turner turned to look at her husband. "These nice men are saying they need us to come to the police station with them," she replied.

"The police station? You mean _DOWNTOWN_?" Mr. Turner shoved his way into the doorway and onto the front porch. "_Nice try, but you'll never take me and my family alive, coppers_!" he shrieked.

Mr. Turner then took a random remote out of his pocket and thrust it in the air. "_TO THE TURNERCOPTER_!"

A helicopter emerged out of a hidden door in the grass of the front lawn. Mr. Turner ran over to the helicopter and got in it, the policemen and Mrs. Turner staring at him as he did so.

Mr. Turner put on a pilot hat and gripped the control levers with determination. "_Quick, everyone get in_!" he exclaimed, sharply turning the helicopter toward the house.

Timmy was still in the kitchen eating cereal when the helicopter smashed into the wall and crashed into the tile floor. Timmy stared at the helicopter in alarm.

"Darn these helicopter controls!" Mr. Turner shouted, his head buried in the rubble.

Then, at that precise moment, Mr. Dinkleberg came out of his house. He turned and noticed the helicopter and giant smashed wall of the house beside him.

"Hey, Turner! Nice helicopter!" Mr. Dinkleberg shouted jovially. "Doing some redecorating, too, it looks like!"

Mr. Dinkleberg walked away and Mr. Turner raised a fist out of the wreckage. "_DINKLEBEEERRRRG_!"

Mrs. Turner and the two policemen were still standing at the door. They looked from Mr. Turner back to each other, and exchanged a glance.

"Uh, we just wanted to talk to you guys at the police station," the policeman said awkwardly.

Mrs. Turner shrugged. "Well, alright, as long as it doesn't take too long."

"It shouldn't," the other policeman said. "Oh, and be sure to bring your _son_ too." he said, pointing a finger at Timmy as he walked out of (the ruins of) the kitchen.

Timmy stopped in his tracks and blinked.

Mr. Turner raised his arm above the wreckage again. "Ooh! We get free donuts, right?"

* * *

The two policemen entered the police station with Mr. Turner, Mrs. Turner, and Timmy, holding his fishbowl, in tow. They looked around the building awkwardly.

The two policemen stepped forward and gestured their arms to the Turners. "We've brought them here," one of the policemen stated to the sheriff seated at the front of the room.

The sheriff was another burly-looking man with a mustache. He was wearing a sheriff hat and badge, and sunglasses for no apparent reason. He lowered his sunglasses to look the family over.

"Very good," the sheriff said. He called to some other police officers in another room. "Frank! Bruce! Send them in!"

A moment later, two more large policemen stepped out of an adjacent room. Behind them, a man and a woman followed.

The man was of average build, with brown hair and blue eyes. He was wearing a blue shirt and black tie with black pants. The woman had large hips and was wearing a floral print dress. She had blue eyes and black, medium-length hair, and she was wearing a white headband. They looked like an average married couple.

Upon seeing Timmy, the two of them gasped.

"It's _him_!" The woman shrieked, pulling on her husband's arm. "_Look_! It's really _him_!"

"It _is _him!" the man exclaimed in equal astonishment. "It is really _him_!"

The squealing couple rushed up to Timmy and immediately began fussing over him and pinching his cheeks. Timmy, who was beyond creeped out at the point, swatted the two people away from his face with one hand, clutching his fishbowl tightly with the other.

"What the heck? Get away from me!" Timmy exclaimed. "Who the heck are you people?"

The couple stared at him, looking a bit sad and offended they had been swatted away. "Timmy..." they said in unison, "we're your _parents_."

"_What_?" Timmy shouted.

"_What_?" two of his goldfish chimed in.

"_What_?" Mr. and Mrs. Turner exclaimed.

"What exactly is going on here?" Mrs. Turner asked in confusion.

"And _where_ are my free donuts?" Mr. Turner shouted angrily.

"Allow _me_ to explain," the sheriff spoke up, getting up from his chair and walking over to the confused folk. "Recently, after going through our identification system, comparing fingerprints, and looking at birth records, we have discovered the fact that Timothy Turner here...is this couple's son."

He gestured to the excited married couple. Then he looked at Mr. and Mrs. Turner and pointed a finger at them. "...and not yours."

"What?" Timmy shouted again, incredulous. "That's ridiculous!"

"Oh, but it's true," the sheriff replied casually.

"But it can't be true!" Mrs. Turner exclaimed. "How could Timmy not be our son? I gave _birth_ to him!"

"No, you didn't," the sheriff replied, again with a casual tone. "After looking through the records of Dimmsdale Hospital from the year he was born, it just so happens that Timothy was somehow mixed up with another baby."

"You mean our son was _switched at birth_?" Mr. Turner said.

"Okay, now _that's_ ridiculous," Timmy said, rolling his eyes.

"Yes, he was," the sheriff confirmed. "Timmy, I'd like you to meet your real parents. Charles and Wendy Evans."

"You mean my real last name is _Evans_?" Timmy said dubiously. "Timothy Tiberius..._Evans_?"

"Aw, that _totally_ messes up the alliteration thing we had going on for him!" Mr. Turner said in disappointment.

"Oh my goodness, he's even cuter than we imagined him!" The woman, Wendy, said happily, bending down to pat his head.

"His middle name is 'Tiberius'?" Charles said skeptically.

Timmy moved away from the couple uncomfortably. "These people _aren't_ my parents! You've gotta be kidding me!"

Charles and Wendy gave him another saddened expression. "Oh, Timmy, you've got to trust us," Wendy spoke emphatically. "We are your parents. We'll take good care of you."

"What do mean you'll—I don't wanna live with _them_!" Timmy shouted in frustration. "You can't make me live with them! I want to live with my real parents!"

"We _are_ your real parents," Charles and Wendy stressed in unison.

"_Step away from my son, you fools_!" Mr. Turner cried, stepping in front of the couple. He pointed a finger at the two. "If _our_ son wants to stay with us, our son going to _stay_ with us!"

"Actually, you two don't even have a son," the sheriff said lazily. "You have a daughter."

And then at that moment, out of the room that the couple had come out of stepped a ten-year old girl. She had long black hair and bright blue eyes. She was wearing a pink shirt with a picture of a kitty-cat on it and a blue skirt.

Mr. and Mrs. Turner both gave a high-pitched, girly scream.

Timmy furrowed his brow. "I got mixed up with a _girl_? What kind of _stupid_ hospital was this?"

"_WE'VE ALWAYS WANTED A DAUGHTER_!" Mr. And Mrs. Turner both screamed, rushing over to embrace the little girl. The girl blinked.

The two continued to shout and began to dance with joy in circles around the little girl, who still stood there blinking.

Timmy's new parents and the sheriff looked at them, and then back at Timmy. "Well, I guess that settles that," the sheriff stated. "You folks can go home with your real children now."

"_HOORAY_!" Mr. and Mrs. Turner screamed.

Wendy looked at Timmy and smiled. "Well, Timmy. I guess you better go home and get all of your things packed, so you can move into your _new _home."

"But I don't want to mo—"

Timmy was abruptly cut off as Mr. and Mrs. Turner shoved a bunch of suitcases in the boy's face.

"There's all your stuff!" Mrs. Turner said cheerfully, "have fun with your real parents, Tommy!"

"His name isn't Tommy, it's _Timmy_," Wendy said with a frown.

Mrs. Turner shrugged. "Oh well, at least the only name I'll have to remember from now on is my daughter's."

"Come on, honey!" Mr. Turner shouted, "Let's go home now, with our new _daughter_!"

Mr. Turner and Mrs. Turner began to frolic out of the police station, toting the girl in their arms (who was still sitting dumbly).

"Goodbye, not-son!" Mr. Turner shouted over his shoulder at Timmy.

And the police station doors slammed shut.

"Well, weren't _they_ an interesting couple," Wendy stated. "We should go home now..."

Charles and Wendy both grinned with delight.

"...with our new son," they said in unison, eying Timmy.

Timmy frowned. "Well, I've got to admit, this was _not_ what I expecting to happen today."


	3. Where the Heart Is

Timmy looked up at the large, red-brick, Victorian-style house that stood in front of him, surrounded by his suitcases and still holding his fishbowl.

"So...this is where I have to live, now," he said in a degraded tone.

"Oh, don't make it sound so tragic, son!" Charles exclaimed, stepping out from behind him, taking hold of a couple of Timmy's suitcases. "Here, I'll carry your bags in for you."

"I'll help, too!" Wendy volunteered, taking a couple of the suitcases as well.

Timmy watched his new parents carry his things into the house with a skeptical eye. "If it just me, or do these guys seem just a little bit...too good to be true?" he asked his goldfish.

"You ought to get to know them," the pink-eyed goldfish replied. "After all, you _were_ the one hoping for a change, weren't you?"

"I guess so," Timmy replied uneasily. "But still...it's a little weird how this happened so fast."

"It's fate, Timmy!" Cosmo exclaimed dramatically, "Accept your destiny!"

Timmy furrowed his brow, when suddenly his parents were calling for him at the door.

"Come inside, son!" Charles exclaimed happily.

"Yes!" Wendy also called, "And see your new home!"

Although hesitantly, Timmy walked up the front porch steps and into the house. The interior of the home was nice and fancy, with a homey sort of feel to it as well. It was alright, Timmy decided.

"Come, come," Charles put his arm around Timmy and led him into the living room. "Come sit and tell us about yourself."

Timmy took a seat on the large couch in the room. There was a long coffee table, and in front of the coffee table, a stone fireplace with a flatscreen television above it. Charles took a seat uncomfortably close beside the boy.

Wendy followed in after them, suddenly holding a plat of chocolate chip cookies. "Who wants cookies?" she asked with a large grin. She looked at Timmy and gasped. "You have pet fish! How lovely!"

She took a cookie off the plate and dropped it into the fishbowl. Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof gasped in delight, and began to munch at it eagerly.

Timmy gave his fish an awkward glance and set the fishbowl on the coffee table. Wendy sat down on the other side of Timmy on the couch.

"So, Timmy, tell us about your life!" Wendy urged, also sitting uncomfortably close to the boy.

"Well..." Timmy began tentatively, "I'm...an average ten-year-old boy, with pet goldfish and an evil babysitter."

"_Evil babysitter_?" the two adults gasped in unison.

"That's terrible!" Wendy shouted, throwing her arms around the boy. "How could someone leave their child with a babysitter?"

"Let alone an _evil_ one!" Charles agreed.

Wendy pulled away from the surprised boy and held up her finger. "Timmy, now that you're our child, you'll never have another babysitter ever again."

"Really?" Timmy exclaimed. "You guys would never leave me with a babysitter?"

"Of course not!" Charles replied, "Besides, a boy like you is obviously _much _too mature for one anyway."

"Plus, I'd just feel too bad leaving you all alone here against your will," Wendy said, pinching the boy's cheeks again. "I think that's just bad parenting."

"Bad parenting indeed," Charles said.

Even though Timmy was still anxious, he couldn't help by be thrilled at this prospect. "Awesome!"

"Ooh, I hope you think your new room is awesome, too," Wendy said. "I hope you don't mind, Timmy, but your father and I were going through your things."

"We threw out of your video game console," Charles stood up.

Timmy blinked. "What? You threw out my—"

"—because we bought you a new one," Charles finished, holding the shiny new console in his hands.

"We also bought you new video games!" Wendy stood beside him and held up the several games in her arms. "Most of them are graphic and violent!"

"_But mostly violent_!" Timmy, Wendy, and Charles all exclaimed at the same time.

"Are you kidding?" Timmy exclaimed, getting off of the couch. "That's even more awesome! You guys are great!"

"We were hoping you'd say that," Charles replied, looking at his wife. Then he looked back at Timmy. "...uh, we also noticed you have a lot of pink clothes."

"Do you really like the color pink that much?" Wendy asked.

Timmy shook his head. "No. My parents—I mean, my _old_ parents just bought me all those pink clothes because they were expecting a girl, and, well, even after they found out I was a boy, the pink just sorta stuck."

"You mean, you've been wearing girl shirts your entire life?" Wendy exclaimed. "That's terrible! They couldn't even dress you like a boy! We'll buy you new clothes, sweetheart."

"Manly clothes," Charlie stated, "Any color you want."

Timmy nodded. "That sounds good."

"We'll buy you a new hat, too," Wendy added. "Any color that you want. How old is that hat, anyway? It looks like it hasn't been washed in years."

Timmy removed his hat. He gave it a once-over. "I'm not really sure. I guess I've had it since I was a baby." He frowned. "...I'm kind of...attached to it, though."

Charles and Wendy nodded in understanding. "You can keep your hat if you want to," Wendy said. "But if you ever want a new one, that's fine too."

"We'll buy it for you," Charles said. "We'll buy anything for you, actually, because you're our son."

"And we would never, ever skimp the slightest on our child," Wendy smiled.

Timmy smiled too. "Wow, you guys are pretty awesome parents. I'm glad I was finally reunited with you two."

"We're glad, too," Charles and Wendy said happily.

The clock in the living room chimed 5 o'clock. Wendy clasped her hands together.

"I need to go start dinner," she said. "You can do whatever you'd like, Timmy."

"Oh, and you have no bedtime," Charles said. "You can stay up as late as you want. But your _should_ still be rested for school tomorrow."

At the mention of the word 'school,' Timmy immediately frowned. School. He may have the best parents in the world, but that didn't matter at school—he was still, and always would be, a loser. "Right...school."

Timmy's parents noticed his frown. "Oh, Timmy, we forgot to tell you," Wendy said. "You're not going to the same school you went to before."

"I'm not?" Timmy raised an eyebrow.

"Unless you want to," Wendy added quickly. "But we didn't think you did. We've heard such _terrible_ rumors about how much teachers torture their students..."

"...and jump around like madmen!" Charles added. "Think of how many children are scarred for life!"

"We enrolled you in a nice private school on this side of town," Wendy said. "I'm sure you'll find it more pleasant there."

"Oh." Timmy shrugged. "I guess that's alright."

Charles and Wendy grinned. "Call if you need anything from us, Timmy!" they shouted, and then left the room in opposite directions.

As soon as they were gone, Timmy's fairies appeared in their true forms beside him. Timmy looked up at them.

"I've gotta admit, these people seem pretty cool," Timmy stated, looking over at the giant pile of video games at the side of the room.

"And you don't miss anything from your old life at all, Timmy?" Wanda asked. Cosmo and Poof were busy eating the rest of the cookies.

"Well, not yet," Timmy said. "But I'll just have to see how my day at school goes tomorrow. I'm not sure it matters what school I go to, I'll probably still be a loser."

"You can't be too sure about that," Wanda said with a smile, but then her expression faltered, "...you can never be too sure about anything..."

A loud _crash! _suddenly rang in the room as Cosmo accidentally dropped the plate of cookies on the floor, smashing the plate into pieces.

"_Noooooo_! The _cookies_!" Cosmo and Poof immediately dashed to the floor and began to eat the crumbly remnants off of the wooden floor.

"I think I know one thing for sure, though," Timmy said dryly, watching them, and Wanda rolled her eyes.

* * *

_A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for reading so far. Apologies if these first few chapters are a little uneventful, it gets more exciting as the story goes on. So thanks for reading, and I hope you keep reading so I can prove my point...XD and yeah. See you next chapter!_


	4. Newly Educated

_A/N: This is the last of the chapters I had written prior to posting on this site, so expect my updates to come not so pants-crappingly fast after this one._

* * *

Timmy stepped onto the sidewalk in front of his new school. It was a large, brick building with a water fountain in front and a big sign in the grass that read, "_Welcome to Dimmsdale Prestige Academy - Where Education Is Not Received, But Achieved._"

"Well, this isn't daunting at all," Timmy said to himself, slightly sarcastic. Cosmo and Wanda had had to take Poof to school that day, so he was out on his own. He was wearing a new blue shirt and new pants. Luckily, this new school didn't have a dress code, so he was also wearing his pink hat. He stepped up the path to the front doors of the school.

Kids were scattered all around the front lawn of the school, chattering about. As soon as Timmy stepped by, everyone turned to look at him.

Timmy quickly realized this and stopped walking. He looked around awkwardly at everyone staring at him.

"Hey, are you new?" someone asked. Timmy spun around to see who had spoken.

A group of four or five kids stood in front of Timmy. A blonde-haired girl was the one who had spoken.

"What's your name?"

"Yeah, I am," he blinked. "My name is Timmy."

The blonde-haired girl also blinked.

"You're cool, Timmy," she said.

"Yeah, you are cool," a boy standing behind her also said, stepping closer to Timmy.

As a crowd began to form around Timmy, a man stepped out of nowhere. He was dressed like he was from the seventies, complete with bellbottoms, medallion, and tiny round sunglasses. The man kind of reminded Timmy of Mr. Birkenbake.

"Alright, alright, everyone, let's all settle down!" the man said, walking over to Timmy and raising his hands up. "Let's not all ambush our new flower."

The man also spoke in a slow, hippie-sounding way. He turned around and grabbed hold of Timmy's hand and shook it strongly. "Timmy, hello. My name is Mr. Biggeri. I am the principal of this learning establishment."

Timmy pulled his hand away awkwardly. "Hi, Mr. Biggeri. I'm...uh...glad to be...at your school," he said.

"No no no," Mr. Biggeri shook his head. "_School_ is such a derogatory term. This is a _learning establishment_. Our goal is not to _coerce_ our students into learning, but to _coax_."

"Uhh...okay," Timmy said.

Mr. Biggeri brought his hands together like he was meditating. "Alright, everybody. Today we are going to _reach out to our brains_ in the best way possible."

"Are we going to go inside?" Timmy asked, finding it awkward that everyone was still standing around him on the front lawn.

Mr. Biggeri looked at Timmy and shook his head. "The building mostly for show. It is my opinion that an enclosed space means for an enclosed _mind_."

"Don't worry, he talks like that all the time," the blonde girl said to Timmy, rolling her eyes. "Welcome to Prestige, Timmy. I'm Lily and this is my posse."

She gestured to the boys and girls surrounding her.

"We think you're cool," another girl said.

"Well...that's cool," Timmy replied.

"Alright, Timmy." Mr. Biggeri turned his attention back to the boy, "are you ready for the first day of the rest of your _mind_?"

Timmy shrugged. "Sure, I guess so. As long as you don't give out too much homework."

All of the students, along with Mr. Biggeri, gasped in shock.

Timmy glanced around him. "What?"

"We don't like the 'H' word on campus, brother," Mr. Biggeri lowered his voice. "A lot like the idea of a building, we at Prestige believe that _homework_ makes for an enclosed mind."

"Wait, you guys don't give out any homework?" Timmy smirked. "Alright. This school is definitely cool."

"It's what Prestige strives to be," Mr. Biggeri continued, "Not just enlightening...not just mind-opening...not just world-brightening...but _cool_. _Now who wants some enlightening taffy_?"

Mr. Biggeri produced a giant bag of taffy and held it out for all the kids to grab a piece.

* * *

"Alright, class, settle down," Mr. Crocker began apathetically, flipping through his clipboard. "First thing on our agenda is roll call...settle dow-_SILENCE_! OR _F_s _FOR ALL OF YOU_!"

The class immediately stopped talking, and all stared up at Mr. Crocker with blinking eyes.

"Now then," Mr. Crocker cleared his throat and began calling out everyone's name.

As soon as he was finished, he put the clipboard down. "Alright, everyone is here. Now, class, today we are going to begin with—wait a minute..."

Crocker stopped talking, noticing the empty desk in the front row.

"Where's _Turner_?" he asked. He took back his clipboard and flipped through it. "And why is he not on my attendance list?"

"Timmy switched schools," A.J., who was also seated in the front row, stated matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, and his last name isn't Turner anymore, it's _Evans_," Chester added.

"What?" Crocker asked, surprised, "Switched schools? Why would he do that?"

"He found out that he got switched at birth and that his real parents are this really wealthy couple that lives on the other side of town," A.J. answered, "...kind of like a contrived movie plot."

"Yeah, now he goes to some private school with all his _fancy-schmancy_ private school friends," Chester rolled his eyes, scoffed and grumbled, "I bet they all own refrigerators, too..."

"_What_?" Crocker exclaimed. "You're telling me that Turner has moved in with rich new parents that randomly appeared out of nowhere, is now living the high life on the other side of town, and will no longer be in my class so I can torture him daily?"

The hunchbacked man balled his fists.

"Here it comes," A.J. rolled his eyes.

"This could only be the work of..._**FAIRY GODPARENTS**_!"

Crocker grabbed the fairy-catching kit he kept underneath his desk and put his helmet on. "_Class dismissed_!" he exclaimed.

"But...it's 8:30 in the morning!"

"Alright, fine!" Crocker pulled down the projector screen at the front of the classroom and turned the projector on. A large, red F projected onto the screen. "_Stare at this F_!"

Crocker quickly ran out of the classroom. The children watched him run out, and then turned their attentions back to the F on the screen.

"Do you think we're gonna get tested on this?" Chester leaned over and whispered to A.J.

A.J. shushed him narrowed his eyes on the large F. "Be quiet, I'm trying to concentrate!"

* * *

_A/N: Enlightening taffy sounds good to me. See, look, I told you! This story is about to get interesting! XD Thanks for reading so far. Feedback is still appreciated. So are tacos...I like tacos..._


	5. A Lack of Misery

After his first day at his new "school," Timmy came home in a cheerful mood—a stark contrast from the gloomy disposition he had only a couple days ago.

The boy threw open the door of his (new, large and spacious) bedroom excitedly. His fairies were waiting for him as he came in.

"Hey guys!" he said to them gleefully. "Guess what? I had the _best_ day at school today! You won't believe how awesome it was!"

Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof looked up at Timmy with sort of half-hearted smiles.

"Well that's very nice, sport," Wanda replied with a hint of apprehensiveness.

Timmy took notice of her tone and give her an odd look. "You don't sound very excited." Noticing the expressions on all three of their faces, he frowned. "Is there something wrong with you guys?"

"_Wish withdrawal_!" Cosmo exclaimed, wringing his wand in his hands and shaking.

Timmy raised an eyebrow, confused.

Wanda explained, "Well, Timmy, we're happy you're enjoying your new life and all," she said anxiously, "but at the same time, it's been almost _two days_ since the last time you made a wish. You know what happens to godparents that don't grant wishes for too long..."

"Oh, right!" Timmy exclaimed, "Magical buildup! Sorry, guys, I totally forgot. It's just that I've been so busy, I haven't had time to make any wishes! Come to think of it, the _thought_ of wishing for something hasn't even crossed my mind for the past two days...it's kind of weird..."

"That's great and everything Timmy," Wanda's voice grew more strained as she continued, "but we're kind of running out of time here!"

"Right, right, sorry," Timmy tapped his chin, trying to think of think of something to wish for. "I wish...um...that I had...a box of donuts."

Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof raised their wands/rattle and _poof!_ed Timmy up a large box of glazed donuts, exhaling in relief.

Timmy opened up the box of donuts and started to eat them. "It's crazy, you guys. No homework at my new school, no evil babysitter, new parents that buy me everything I want!" he spoke as he chewed. "It's like everything in my life is doing this awesome new turnaround. And I didn't even _wish_ for it!"

"Remember to _keep_ wishing though, Timmy," Wanda said with a smile. "We don't want to lose you."

Timmy blinked and stopped chewing. "...what do you mean, 'lose me'?"

"You've been so happy with your new life, you're starting to forget us!" Cosmo said fretfully, putting two donuts in his mouth. "If 'uur lif's purfuc, 'uu c'nt huv ush nnymurr!"

"What?"

"You said yourself, Timmy, that you've had nothing to wish for for the past couple days," Wanda said. "It's because your life now is so much better and less miserable than it used to be. As you know, fairy godparents are only supposed to go to kids that _are_ miserable, and _need_ them."

Timmy frowned. "But I _do_ need you guys! Just because my life's..._kinda_ better doesn't mean it's _perfect_." he glanced around his room and then looked up at his fairies with a staunch grin. "I'll make sure I never lose you guys. And I'll still keep making lots of wishes! I promise."

He hugged the three fairies, who were now more cheerful.

"Good to hear," Wanda said. "It's not like we don't _want_ you to be happy, though."

"Just not _too_ happy!" Cosmo said.

"Gotcha, you guys. Not too happy, I can do that." Timmy set down the box of donuts and stood up straight. "I'm sure I can find a lot of bad things still happening in my life that will keep you guys with me."

Someone knocked on the bedroom door. Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof turned into goldfish. "Come in," Timmy called.

Charles opened the door with a big grin on his face. "Hello, Timmy! Your friends have come to see you."

Lily and her posse stepped inside Timmy's room, looking around.

"Sweet room," one kid said.

"Timmy, wanna get pizza with us?" Lily asked.

"Sure!" Timmy exclaimed. Then he remembered not too be too excited and said in a more apathetic tone, "I mean, uh...sure, I guess."

Despite his attempted apathy, Timmy quickly left the room with his new friends, laughing and chattering with them.

"Have fun, son!" Charles shouted after him, shutting the bedroom door behind the kids and flipping the light switch off.

The dark bedroom was silent.

"...he didn't ask us to come with him," the green-eyed goldfish stated, to which Wanda replied with a frown.

* * *

_A/N: This chapter was WAY shorter than I expected. The next one will be longer...I think, at least. o3o Again thanks for reading, everyone! (:_


	6. Wants and Needs

It was Friday afternoon.

Crocker swung the front door of the building open and barged in.

"_TIMMY TURNER_!" the hunchbacked man bellowed defiantly. "Haha! You thought that changing your last name to 'Evans' would be enough to stop _ME_? Well you were wrong, _TURNER_, because _you can NEVER hide from me, and I am here to prove once and for all that you in fact are in possession of...__**FAIRY GODPARENTS!**_"

After his appropriate spazz, Crocker stood in the doorway catching his breath. That was when he realized what he was looking at—a room full of elderly men in wheelchairs. A few of them were sitting around a table playing cards.

The old men stared at Crocker, blinking.

"What did he say?" one of the old men exclaimed, tapping on his hearing aid.

Crocker looked around the room in confusion. "Wait a minute, where's _Turner_? This _is_ the right address, isn't it?"

"I'm Timmy Turner!" an old bald man with no teeth and a long beard shouted cheerfully.

"What? No! Haven't any of your seen a ten-year-old boy, about yay-high, silly pink hat and beaver-reminiscent buck teeth?" Crocker asked desperately.

The old men stared at him again.

"What is he saying?" the same old man with the hearing aid shouted again.

Crocker slapped his forehead. "Drat! This is the wrong address! The wrong Timmy Turner lives here, not the one I'm looking for."

Crocker slammed the door of the building shut and glanced over the the large sign in the front yard of the building that read, "Dimmsdale Nursing Home."

"...Hmm. I probably should have deductively realized this when I saw that 'Nursing Home' sign in the front yard."

Crocker shrugged, pulling out a clipboard. On the clipboard was a very, very long list of addresses. Several addresses had a line drawn through them. Crocker took out a pen drew a line through another one.

"Well, that's fourteen 'Timmy Turner's down, forty-eight left to go," he flipped the paper over, "and after that, the seventy-two 'Timmy Evans' that are also listed living in the local suburban California area."

Crocker flipped the page back to the front.

"In a way, I feel deep sadness for myself and the route my life has taken," he stated blankly, "but nevertheless. _I WILL FIND YOU, TIMMY TURNEEER_!"

"I'm Timmy Turner!" the old man from before had randomly popped out beside Crocker on the front porch, grinning a gleeful toothless smile.

"Get away from me, old man!" Crocker hissed, stepping away from the elderly Timmy Turner. "I've got a child to find and cause misery to! And I will stop at _nothing_ to do so! _Hahahahaha_!"

Crocker continued laughing evilly. The elderly Timmy Turner also joined in laughing with him, although probably not for the same reason.

* * *

Timmy looked at himself in the mirror and adjusted his pink hat. He frowned.

There was just something, something strange about it today. It didn't look right on his head. Which was odd, considering he'd worn that thing pretty much everyday of his life without a second thought about it.

Maybe it was because he wasn't wearing pink shirts everyday anymore, the hat didn't match with the rest of his outfit. Maybe it was because wearing it just reminded him too much of his old life...

Timmy removed his hat and stared at it. Still the same old thing. It had a lot of wear and tear from wearing it all the time, although considering the situations he _had_ been _in_, it had held up pretty well.

And he had absolutely no recollection of the last time it had been washed. Maybe it _was_ time for a new hat.

Timmy glanced over the pink hat skeptically. He turned and was about to throw it into the trash bin beside his dresser, when a sudden _poof!_ sounded behind him that made him cringe. Timmy spun around, meeting eyes with his familiar purple-eyed baby godbrother.

"Oh, Poof!" he grinned, "It's just you. Geez, I haven't seen you in a while."

"Poof-poof!" Poof replied, narrowing his eyes and folding his arms stubbornly.

"What? Where have I been? I've been out with my friends, you know," Timmy shrugged. "Just doing...stuff. You know."

"Poof-_poof_," Poof frowned.

"Look, Poof, can we do this later? My friends and I are going to see a movie." he smoothed his hair over. "I'm gonna be heading out in a couple of minutes."

"Poof-poof," Poof replied, turning himself into a purple tub of popcorn in the boy's hands.

"Nah, it's okay, Poof, you don't have to come," Timmy replied, putting Poof down on his dresser and walked away. "Besides, it'd be weird if I brought my own popcorn to the movie theater, anyway..."

Poof turned back into a fairy and frowned. His eyes began to well with tears.

Timmy turned back around and noticed this. "Hey Poof, don't cry!" he said quickly, "I'll be back after...after I'm done hanging out with my friends, later. We can hang out then!"

This did not comfort Poof. His bottom lip began to quiver.

Timmy thought fast. He looked down at his hat, that he was still holding in his hand. "I'll make it up to you, okay? You can have my hat."

Poof blinked, suddenly surprised.

Timmy put the hat on Poof's head. It fell over the baby's eyes, and he instantly began to giggle in delight.

Timmy pushed the hat upright on the baby's head. Poof's eyes lit up from underneath, and he looked up at Timmy admiringly.

Timmy smiled, but then was suddenly skeptical. "Hey, wait a second, why did you poof into this room alone? Where the heck are your parents at?"

Poof rolled his eyes and shook his rattle. Immediately, Cosmo and Wanda appeared in the room. Cosmo was yelling and had his arm stuck in what appeared to be a sink, while Wanda was pulling him by the shoulders.

"I honestly don't know how you are able to get your entire arm stuck in the garbage dispos—"

Wanda stopped talking and realized her new surroundings. When she noticed Timmy standing in the room, she narrowed her eyes and folded her arms irritably.

After being released by Wanda, the weight of the sink Cosmo was attached to caused him to fall to the floor with a crash and a yelp. He raised his head wearily and pointed with his free arm at Poof. "Hey, look! I found Poof!"

"Well, well, well!" Wanda said sourly, "If it isn't the boy who makes promises he can't keep!"

Timmy rolled his eyes. "Alright, alright, Wanda, I know I said I would start wishing more often again but the fact of the matter is—"

"The fact of the matter is we haven't seen you in _four days_!" she retorted. "Our wishing meters are at an all time low!"

Wanda _poof!_ed up a device reminiscent of an ear thermometer and stuck it into Poof's ear. The device started flashing bright red, and a digital frowny face appeared on its screen.

"What happened to the good old days, Timmy?" Cosmo asked sadly. He was still lying on the ground with the sink. "The days where you'd make wishes and we'd grant them for hours on end! What happened between us, Timmy? I thought what we had was special..."

"You better make a wish right now, or so help us!"

The accusations made Timmy a bit miffed. "Okay, just because I haven't made a wish in a few days doesn't give you guys an excuse to rag on me. You guys are acting like it's a life-or-death situation here."

"Technically, it's a life-or-explosion situation," Cosmo stated.

"Actually it _does_!" Wanda replied sharply. "You made a promise that you would continue wishing as frequently as you used to, but you haven't. Just because you're caught up in your new life doesn't mean you can neglect your responsibilities."

"Responsibilities? You're saying it's my responsibility to make a wish every once in a blue moon to keep you guys from exploding? First of all, that's a _weird_ responsibility," Timmy said, "and second of all, you guys are _really_ needy, aren't you?"

"It's not because we're needy! It's our _job_!" Wanda snapped.

"_What's_ your job? Pestering me and following me around everywhere I go, even if I don't want you to?"

"No! Our _job_ is to keep you _happy_!"

"You think forcing me to do things makes me _happy_?"

"Um, I don't want to be a bother here, but," Cosmo spoke up feebly, "we're running out of time and our fleeting compositions are of the essence. Just so you guys know."

"You know, I'm not going to make a _wish_ just because someone's yelling at me," Timmy folded his arms.

"You _better_ make a wish!" Wanda growled.

"_Poof_! Quick!" Cosmo exclaimed, trying desperately to pull himself up, but inevitably collapsing due to the weight of the heavy sink, "Intervene Timmy and Wanda before the head-ripping begins!"

"Poof-poof?" Poof whimpered.

"You can't tell me what to do," Timmy stated indignantly.

"What makes you think I _can't_?" Wanda hissed.

"Because you guys aren't my parents," Timmy replied huffily. "You're actually far from them."

Wanda balled her fists in a new surge of rage. "Oh, you have _no idea_ how wrong you are about that, mister! If fact, you don't know jack—"

"_People_! We're coming up to the end of times here!" Cosmo screeched, reaching out his hand in front of him. "_I can see the liiiight_!"

"You know what you are? You're a nag," Timmy said casually.

"Oh, you did _not_ just play the 'nag' card right now!"

"Well I wouldn't have if you hadn't started _nagging_ me so _nagging_ much to make another wish..._NAG_!"

"_Poof-poof_!" Poof suddenly exclaimed in a frightened tone.

A second later, the baby exploded with a giant**_ KABOOM!_** cloud. The remnants of Poof—a pile of purple confetti with two blinking eyes—floated down to the ground and landed beside Cosmo.

Cosmo screamed in horror. "_NO_! _Poof's down_! He was so _yoooooungggg_!"

"You know, back when my life was miserable, I thought you guys were the greatest thing in the world. Now that my life's _great_, I've realized how many things are way _better_ than you guys!"

"_Better_ than an endless supply of magic that you can use to your endless desire?"

"Yes, _way_ better," Timmy stated, "Because _they're_ not crazy needy _nags_!"

The pile of Poof had already begun to bawl loudly. "HAPPY THOUGHTS!" Cosmo screamed, grabbing his head with his free hand. "_HAPPY THOUGHTS_!"

"You selfish little brat!" Wanda yelled, "all we've done for you, and this is how you show your appreciation? In fact, you have no _idea_ how much we've—"

"Blah blah blah," Timmy made the mimicking hand gesture and spoke in a demeaning tone, "Tell me, Wanda, does every word sound as ungodly shrill in your mind as it does coming out of your mouth?"

Cosmo suddenly let our a bloodcurdling scream. In an instant, the green-haired fairy was reduced to another giant **_KABOOM!_** cloud, and disintegrated into a pile of green confetti.

He stopped screaming abruptly and blinked. He glanced over at the sink beside him and Poof. "...well, I guess this gets rid of the whole 'stuck in the garbage disposal' problem."

"You know what? I'm leaving," Timmy said bitterly, spinning around and heading toward the door. "I'm already late for the movie I was going to see, thanks to you."

"You aren't leaving!" Wanda replied angrily, "At least, not without us! After all, you said yourself, you _need_ us!"

"Yeah, well, maybe I was wrong," Timmy snapped, throwing the door open. He glared over his shoulder. "Maybe I _don't _need you!"

Wanda gasped. Timmy slammed the door.

Almost immediately after Timmy had slammed the door, Wanda also exploded with a **_KABOOM! _**cloud into a pile of pink confetti, falling beside the other two fairies that had been reduced to piles of magic dust. A moment of silence passed.

"Well...this hasn't been a very good day," Cosmo stated obviously.

"Okay, that's it," Wanda said, still fuming. "This isn't working out."

"You're telling me," Cosmo replied. "What do we do?"

"We've got to put a stop to it," Wanda replied sharply. "And _now_."

"_O - kay_...but I meant," Cosmo continued, "What do we do now that we're all piles of confetti? I have to go to the bathroom."

Wanda sighed and rolled her eyes. "We strike tomorrow morning."

* * *

_A/N: I had to rewrite this chapter a couple times because it was unbelieeevably boring. I can't say I'm entirely pleased with this version, but it's better than what I originally had written for this chapter (seriously people, it was a snoozefest). Anyway, ranting author's note. I'll be quiet now. Thanks for reading!_


	7. Unfortunate Assumptions

The next morning, it was Saturday. Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof were in Timmy's bedroom. The buck-toothed boy had been out all night, and the three were waiting for him to return home.

Wanda's demeanor was quite determined, while Cosmo, on the opposite, appeared quite worried. Wanda gestured to Poof. "Poof, you'll be our alert system. Go out in the hallway and tell us if you see Timmy coming."

Poof was quite confused by the whole happenstance and was unsure of what Cosmo and Wanda were planning to do to Timmy. Nevertheless, the baby—who was still wearing Timmy's pink hat—obeyed, and floated over to the door.

"You know, he's going to be really mad at us," Cosmo stated tautly.

"He's _already_ really mad at us, Cosmo," Wanda replied flatly, "Were you not there last night while he was yelling at us? If anything, him already being angry takes the sting out of things a little."

"Well, technically he's only mad at _you_," Cosmo replied. "And he was only yelling at _you_...for being a nag. Which, we all have to admit, is completely tr—"

"Poof-poof," Poof alerted, coming back into the bedroom.

"Alright, he's home," Wanda said, "Took him long enough. Thanks, Poof."

Poof nodded, although he still didn't know the things his parents were planning. He floated back beside them.

"Do you think we should've rehearsed this?" Cosmo asked anxiously.

"Just follow my lead. And back me up."

"You know, he's gonna be really angry..."

"I know! Now _shhhh_!"

"He's probably going to hate us forever—"

"He is not! We just have to explain it to him lightly."

"But," Cosmo whined, "how do we explain lightly to someone that their parents are completely ma—"

At that precise moment, Timmy swung open the door to his bedroom.

Although the boy retained his signature brown hair, blue eyes, and buck teeth, his attire had completely changed. New pants, new shirt, and now, he even had a new hat. His new hat was the same exact style as his pink one, except it was the color blue and in a lot better condition.

Timmy looked up at his godfamily. Instead of reacting angrily to their appearance as Cosmo had predicted, the boy smiled, looking completely calm.

"Cosmo, Wanda, Poof," he said, addressing them all by name in a rather strange way. "I knew you'd be here. Good to see you guys."

"Well!" Wanda exclaimed, raising an eyebrow at Timmy's calm and odd behavior. "...it's...good to see you, too."

"Do you guys like my new hat?" Timmy pointed at the hat atop his head. "I got it last night. I like it a lot. I feel like it just...suits me better than my old one did, you know?"

The three fairies all exchanged glances, bemused at Timmy's conduct. Wanda shook her head to snap herself back into what she was doing and narrowed her eyes at the boy. "Timmy, we need to talk."

"Oh, yeah, I need to talk to you guys too," Timmy replied smoothly. "Is it okay if I go first?"

"Not really," Wanda furrowed her brow, "we have something kind of important to say."

A couple seconds of silence passed and Wanda elbowed Cosmo in the stomach.

"Oof!" Cosmo coughed, regaining his composure, "Uh, yeah, w-we have something really important. To say. To you. Now. Pr-probably."

"Well, I have something really important to say to you guys, too," Timmy said; then he continued on, "See, last night, when I was out with my friends, I realized something. And it really opened my eyes to you guys's and my relationship."

"Well, we've realized something too," Wanda said, "it's gone on long enough. We have to tell you—"

"No, no, I know," Timmy said quickly, "I know what you're going to say. And you know what? I completely agree with you."

"...no, I _don't_ think you know what I'm going to say," Wanda replied irritably, "let me finish. We—"

"Maybe it's taken me a bit longer to come to terms with things than it took you guys," Timmy continued, "but I've finally come to my senses. You guys don't have to worry about it."

Wanda gave Timmy a weird look. "Timmy, you're not listening to anything I'm saying. I have to explain something to you. We—"

"No, no, you don't have to explain anything." Timmy assured. "I completely understand. We had a good run, you guys and I."

"Timmy, what the in the world are you talking abou—"

"But let me tell you guys, I've really realized it," Timmy went on, "It's been great having you guys, it really has. But I...well...I just don't need you anymore."

"_What_?" Cosmo and Wanda exclaimed in unison.

"Timmy! You can't—" Cosmo began.

"My new life, I mean," Timmy explained, "it's just...so much better than my old life. And you guys know that. You've seen what's been going on. I can't try to 'not be too happy.' I just can't do that...because I'm thrilled." he smiled.

"No! Timmy, you've got to listen to us—" Wanda pleaded, but Timmy raised a hand up to her.

"I can't make you guys stay with me any longer, it just wouldn't be right."

"Timmy, you—"

"You guys did a great job back when I was living a miserable life...but I'm not miserable anymore." Timmy stated. "Let's face it. You guys need to go to a kid that really needs you."

"_TIMMY_—"

"So," Timmy said, "I've made a firm decision...I'm going to say it."

"_NO_!" Cosmo and Wanda both yelled in horror, "TIMMY! YOU'RE MAKING A BIG MISTAKE!"

"I don't think I am," Timmy smiled in an almost smug way.

Then, he took a deep breath.

"I'm happy and I don't need my fairy godparents anymore."

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_!" the fairies screamed, but it was too late.

A few seconds after Timmy had spoken, a giant, dark, spinning vortex opened up on the floor of Timmy's bedroom. The fierce winds took hold of Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof and began to suck them in.

The three fairies continued to scream in terror, trying desperately to grab onto things in Timmy's room and clawing on the floor to get away from the vortex. It was to no avail, though, for the winds were too strong.

The vortex's winds whipped Timmy's hair as he watched them with a blank, emotionless face.

"TIIIIMMYYYY!" they now had to cling together, the vortex's vacuum power getting stronger as they came closer to its center. "_HEEEELP UUUUUS_!"

Timmy didn't make a move to help them. "Bye, guys," he said simply, folding his arms.

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO_! _TIIIIIIIIIIIMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYY_!"

They screamed and cried louder and louder as they were sucked farther and farther into the vortex, until, soon enough, the vortex finally shrunk around them, and as quick as a blink, disappeared.

The room fell into complete silence.

Timmy blinked. He felt weird, and was suddenly overcome by a great feeling of tiredness. Without knowing exactly what was happening to him, everything suddenly went black.

* * *

"_Timmyyyy_! _Dinner is ready_!"

Timmy awoke with a start. His heart was racing a bit, and he glanced around his bedroom, taking in his surroundings.

He looked at his bedside clock. It was about 5:30 PM. He didn't remember falling asleep.

The boy rubbed his head, and tried to calm his breathing. He must have woken up from a bad dream. That was the only explanation. Despite this feeling, he couldn't remember what the dream was about...at all. It was rather strange.

"_Timmy_!" his mother called out for him again. "_Come and eat_!"

Timmy sighed, and shook it off. Whatever, it didn't matter anyway. It was only a dream.

The boy got up from his bed, and put his blue hat back on. He adjusted himself and walked out of the room, not giving a second thought to the empty fishbowl on his bed stand.


	8. Coming Clean

Jorgen Von Strangle raised an eyebrow at the three fairies seated on the other side of his enormous desk. He spun his giant office chair around to face them directly as he ate from his bag of cheese puffs.

"You know, I have to tell you guys," Jorgen spoke with some surprise, licking the cheese dust off of his fingers, "I never really thought this day would come. The day Timmy Turner lost his fairies for good. And the fact he _gave you up_ consensually, on his own terms, completely abandoning and _disowning _you guys?"

Jorgen took another handful of cheese puffs and stuffed them in his mouth.

"Huh," he said while chewing, crumbs falling out of his mouth, "Pretty intense."

The three smaller fairies were still shaking and crying in shock, absolutely traumatized by what had just happened minutes ago.

"It wasn't s'posed to happen...like that," Cosmo whimpered, in between choking sobs, and suddenly threw himself onto Jorgen's desk. "_None of this was s'posed to happen_!"

"How could we _let_ this happen?" Wanda cried, falling beside Cosmo, "_And how could it have actually happened_?"

Poof bawled mercilessly in the background. Cosmo and Wanda both howled, sliding off of the desk and wrapping their arms around each other, sobbing.

Jorgen watched them apathetically. He put down his bag of cheese puffs and _poof!_ed up a tube of antibacterial wipes. He pulled out a wipe, and began to clean off the place where Cosmo and Wanda had collapsed on the desk.

Afterward, he _poof!_ed the wipes away. The three fairies were still crying. Jorgen glanced at his watch.

Eventually, Cosmo gasped and pulled away, exclaiming in urgency, "We have to go back! _We need to go back_!"

"_JORGEN_!" Wanda yelled desperately, alarming the giant fairy. By this point, Jorgen had pulled out his cell phone and was playing a game on it.

"Aw, come on, Wanda, you made me run into a tree branch! I was about to beat my high score!"

The pink-haired fairy grabbed Jorgen's face and pulled it up to hers. "You _have_ to let us go back, Jorgen! _Please_ let us go back to Timmy, _please_!"

Jorgen pulled himself away from the hysterical fairy and _poof!_ed away his cell phone. "I can't do that, Wanda, Timmy gave you guys up by himself. Besides, his memory's already been wiped. He doesn't remember a thing about you guys anymore."

"There has to be some sort of loophole!" Wanda insisted. "Timmy didn't know what he was saying!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm just glad I got to see this day," Jorgen said, _poof!_ing up a file. The file was very large and bulging with papers. "The day I get to shred all of Turner's paperwork!" he said in excitement.

Jorgen laughed as he opened up the file and pulled out the first item, which was a sheet of paper with Timmy's picture on it and all of his medical information. As he looked closer at the sheet, though, he stopped laughing and was suddenly confused.

"Wait a minute, this isn't Turner's file. This is a file for some kid named Timmy _Evans_." Jorgen flipped through the other papers in the file in surprise. "...wow, he looks exactly like Turner, _and_ has committed every single rule violation that Turner has! That's uncanny."

"That _is_ Timmy," Cosmo sniffled, float-sitting in his chair. "We changed his name."

Jorgen looked up from the papers and at Cosmo with a weird look. "You...changed his last name? To '_Evans_'? But I liked the alliteration thing he had going on. Timmy _Evans_ just doesn't roll off the tongue as smoothly..."

"See!" Cosmo exclaimed, pointing a finger at Wanda, "I _told_ you 'Evans' was a bad last name! We should've changed it to 'Martinez'!"

Wanda rolled her eyes at Cosmo. Jorgen held his hands up. "Wait, wait, wait," Jorgen said with a frown, "_why_ did you have to change Timmy's last name in the first place?"

"So it would fit in with the story!" Cosmo explained.

"_What _story?"

"The 'switched-at-birth' thing!"

"Switched at..._what_?" Jorgen waved his hands in front of his face dismissively. "Okay, start from the beginning of the story. The _very_ beginning, and explain to me what the heck happened."

"The _very_ beginning?" Cosmo asked. "_Weeell_. When a mommy fairy and a daddy fairy love each other very much_—_"

"_NO_! I meant from the beginning of the 'switched-at-birth' thing you mentioned earlier, you_ idiot__!_"

"Well, you _told_ me to start from the _very_ beginning_—"_

"_I'll_ explain," Wanda said. "See, it all started last week. Timmy had been feeling and acting more down than usual, and, well..."

* * *

"_Well, you know, Timmy..." Wanda smiled warmheartedly, "there are a lot of things you can find to be thankful for in your life. You've just gotta look."_

_At that precise moment, a loud shout sounded from the hallway._

"_HEY, TWERP!" Vicky yelled, "GET BACK OUT HERE SO I CAN ABUSE YOU TO MY INSATIABLE DESIRE!"_

_Timmy scoffed. "Yeah, whatever you say, Wanda."_

_And with that, the pink-hatted boy walked out of the room, leaving his three fairies (and an octogator) behind to watch him in wonder._

_After Timmy had gone, Wanda folded her arms thoughtfully. She turned to Cosmo and the octogator. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she asked._

_Cosmo paused from wrestling with the octogator to look at her. "Of course not!" he said cheerfully, "Why would you even ask that?"_

_Wanda frowned. "That's a good question." she raised her wand and _poof!_ed away the octogator._

_All of a sudden, Poof began to cry. A rainstorm erupted in Timmy's bedroom. Cosmo and Wanda _poof!_ed up umbrellas to hold over their heads._

"_Poof needs his nap," Wanda said, taking hold of the baby. "I'll go put him to bed."_

_She raised her wand, and she and Poof disappeared. The rainstorm abruptly ended, and Cosmo _poof!_ed away his umbrella._

_Two seconds later, Wanda _poof!_ed back into the room alone. "So anyway, what I was saying before," she continued._

"_You were saying something before?" Cosmo asked in confusion._

"_Timmy seems really unhappy nowadays," Wanda stated with worry._

"_Well, what do you expect from a boy who has misery constantly thrown at him as well as possessing the complete awareness that he was not meant to exist and every attempt he makes to escape the horrible routines fails and only sends him back deeper into the perpetual doom that is his life?"_

_Wanda regarded him flatly. "...You're over-dramatizing it."_

"Aaaam_ I?" Cosmo raised an eyebrow._

"_I think we need to teach that boy a lesson," Wanda stated._

"_Aww, do we _have _to?" Cosmo whined, "I hate teaching lessons almost as much as I hate learning them."_

"_So Timmy thinks his life is miserable, doesn't he?" Wanda continued._

"_Well, let's see. Evil babysitter, neglectful parents, crazy teacher, countless enemies, _heee-uuuge _buck teeth..." Cosmo laughed, "his life _is_ miserable!"_

"_Right _now_, it is," Wanda said, "but that's only because he knows it only as the way it has been up until this point. What he _doesn't_ know is how miserable he'd be if his life _wasn't_ the way it was anymore."_

"_...this is the point where I nod and blindly agree with you while in actuality not understanding a word you're saying, right?" Cosmo grinned._

"_Timmy's been living this way for his whole life. It's the only life he knows, for goodness' sake. And while he might not appreciate his situation right now, I think he'd grow to appreciate it a _whole_ lot more if he was suddenly taken out of his comfort zone and a dramatic change came into his already established way of life." Wanda looked at Cosmo. "Do you follow me now?"_

"_Yes!" Cosmo smiled, but then his smile quickly turned into a frown. "...wait, what am I supposed to be following?"_

_Wanda facepalmed. Then she held her arms up and spoke in an articulated way, "Timmy NEEDS to LEARN to APPRECIATE the life he has now. We're going to make him DO THAT by giving him a completely new life."_

"_A new life?" Cosmo frowned, "You mean like...on the internet?"_

"_No, you moron. People on the internet don't have lives." Wanda continued, "I'm saying that we need to alter Timmy's current life. Maybe move him into a new house. A different town, or—"_

_Wanda snapped her fingers and grinned._

"_I've got it," she said. "We'll give him...new parents."_

"_New parents?" Cosmo asked. "...What do we do with his old ones, then?"_

"_We'll...we'll say," Wanda tapped her chin, "We'll say that Timmy was switched at birth with another baby!"_

"_That's so cliche, it'll totally work!" Cosmo exclaimed._

"_And then we can create a couple, who are so SICKENINGLY sweet and perfect that Timmy will be begging for his old parents and his old life back!" Wanda said excitedly._

"_And we can name them both something inconspicuously symbolic!" Cosmo said._

"_This is going to be great!" Wanda rubbed her hands together in a scheming way. "But, we can't reveal _any_ of this to Timmy. _Not_ until he starts wanting his old parents back. Then we'll tell him it was all our plan."_

"_And we'll be back to our normal routine of haywire wishing!" Cosmo folded his hands and grinned in a dreamy way. But then, he dropped his hands and frowned again. "But wait. What if it doesn't work?"_

_Wanda scoffed. "Of course it's going to work, you idiot. Nothing could go wrong."_

* * *

"See, you shouldn't have said that at the end, Wanda," Cosmo folded his arms. "Pfft. 'Nothing could go wrong.' Even _I _know you're not s'posed to say that. And _I'm_ the stupid one!"

"So, let me get this straight," Jorgen said, looking thoughtful as he continued to eat his cheese puffs. He spoke in between chews, "Mm, you two..._purposely_ made Timmy's life perfect...so he would miss...being miserable?"

Cosmo and Wanda both nodded ashamedly.

"But _instead_," Jorgen continued, mouth full, "surprise surprise, he actually _liked_ having a perfect life...and ended up giving up his fairies. In favor of his new, perfect life."

"_Thaaat's_ pretty much that gist of it, yes," Cosmo replied.

Jorgen snorted. Because his mouth was full of cheese puffs when he did so, this caused him to start coughing. He quickly regained himself. "Well congratulations, Cosmo and Wanda. You have officially committed an _epic fail_."

"You don't have to rub it in, you know!" Wanda snapped.

"But you make it so easy!" Jorgen shrugged, still snickering. He cleared his throat. "Well. Now that you've entertained me with _that_ little tale, it's time to get back down to business. That is, if you two still want to keep your jobs."

Jorgen took his wand and _poof!_ed up an extremely wide drawer that was full of files. It fell onto his desk with a loud _boom_ and caused Cosmo and Wanda to jump back in fright.

"I bet you two remember the Potential Godchildren drawer?" Jorgen said condescendingly. "Your deadline for a new godchild is in three days. No extensions or exceptions. Now if you'll excuse me, it's time for my break!"

Jorgen stood up with a grin, and quickly _poof!_ed away. Cosmo let out a cry of distress and Wanda dropped her head on the desk.

* * *

_A/N: I keep getting emails saying I've been put on Story Alert. I'm not sure if it's because people are actually reading this story, or because the mildly confusing new layout makes you people accidentally do that. XD Nevertheless, I thank you all for allowing me to indulge in your fleeting companionship._


	9. Perfect World Problems

Timmy stared down at his plate of pancakes. His mother had drawn a large maple syrup smiley face on the top of the stack. Although he knew that would taste good, he was apprehensive to eat them for some reason.

Wendy look a seat beside Timmy at the table with her coffee mug and looked at the boy. "How has you day been so far, sweetie?" she asked.

Timmy looked at her skeptically. "Oh, uh, it's been...good...considering I've been awake for ten minutes..."

"Well, that's good!" Wendy grinned.

Timmy took his knife and fork and began to cut off a piece of his pancake stack. Maybe he was a little less than good. He still couldn't shake the feeling that something drastic had happened to his life recently.

Other than the whole, "new parents" thing, of course. The feeling had only started up after he had woken up from his impromptu nap yesterday. It was weird, and he knew he needed to get over it already.

As Timmy and his mother continued to eat breakfast, Charles finally came into the dining room, his hands full of mail.

"Got the mail today," he declared, dropping everything on the table. "All bills and junk."

The man turned his attention to Timmy and immediately lit up.

"Hello, son! How has your day been today?" Charles asked efficiently.

Timmy stared at him. "It's...been...good."

"Well, that's good!" Charles grinned.

Timmy felt kind of irritated, but he wasn't sure why. After all, his father hadn't been in the room when his mother had asked the exact same question...

A _ding!_ went off in the kitchen. Wendy clapped her hands together.

"The biscuits are ready! I'll go get them," she said, getting up from her seat.

"Oh, I'll help you, darling!" Charles said, giving her a peck on the cheek. Wendy giggled and rushed off into the kitchen, Charles following behind her.

Timmy watched them walk off, leaning his head on his arm lazily. He looked over at the pile of bills and junk mail letters his father had dumped on the table.

Out of sheer boredom, he sifted through the letters. Although some of them were to only one of his parents, the majority of them were addressed to "_Charles and Wendy Evans._"

Looking at them made Timmy think back to living with his old parents and going through the mail, noticing that each and every letter was addressed to "_Mr. and Mrs. Turner_." For some reason, he couldn't recall any of the letters addressing his old parents by their first names.

His new parents, of course, were much different. _Every_ letter addressed them by their first names. There was no "_Mr. and Mrs. Evans_" addressed at all. Only Charles and Wendy. Charles and Wendy this, Charles and Wendy that...

Timmy frowned. All of a sudden, something struck him odd about his parents's names. He wasn't sure why.

Charles and Wendy. Those weren't odd names. They weren't odd at all. Just two, normal people names. They weren't the slightest bit odd names. They weren't even _fairly odd_.

Timmy blinked.

Or...were they?

Timmy looked closer at the mail on the table.

Charles and Wendy. Charles and Wendy. It was like they were supposed to remind him of something.

Timmy couldn't remember what that thing was for his life. Timmy narrowed his eyes. This was ridiculous. He was stressing out over something that didn't make any sense. Something was wrong with him. Something _had_ to be wrong with him.

But he'd deal with his insanity later. Right now, he had to figure this out.

_Charles and Wendy. Charles and Wendy. Chaaarrless and Wendyyyy. ChaarrrlessandWenddyyyy. C and W. Charles and—_

The realization came over Timmy like an epiphany.

Their names started with C and W. Well, he already knew that, but for some reason, it hadn't _fully _kicked into his brain until that precise moment.

C and W? Why were those letters significant to him? Why did that matter at all?

It was just something, something weird in his brain that make him feel very familiar to those letters. Like they meant something to him...something deep...

Laughing with each other, Charles and Wendy came back in the room, Wendy holding a plate of hot biscuits with her oven mitts. She placed the plate on a pan holder in the center of the table cheerfully.

"Have some biscuits, Timmy," Wendy encouraged, "you'll love them. Be careful, though, they're fresh out of the oven and quite hot."

"They're not the only things that are _quite_ _hot_ around here, though," Charles said suggestively.

Wendy playfully slapped him on the shoulder, "Oh, you!"

Timmy, both still recovering from his realization and repulsed at his parents' very outward behavior, quickly got up from his chair. "Uh, thanks Mom, but I'm feeling kind of...stuffy in here. I think I'll go for a walk."

Neither of his parents seemed fazed. "Alright, sweetheart, have fun," Wendy said, waving at Timmy as he went for the door.

Timmy stepped out of his house and into the fresh air. He wasn't exactly sure where he was walking or why, but he knew that he had to get out of that house and away from his parents.

The boy started walking down the street, past all of the nice houses in the neighborhood. It was a completely calm Sunday morning, and there was just something about it that annoyed Timmy.

But he didn't know why. He didn't know anything. He was walking outside for no reason. He was obsessing over the letters "C" and "W" for no reason. The calmness of the morning was annoying him...for no reason.

Timmy sensed the remnants of his sanity fading quickly. He turned down the corner and noticed there was a park on that street. There were a few people there, but not many. Timmy walked over to the park and sat down on a picnic bench. He put his head in his arms, trying to regain his common sense.

Didn't take long for his thoughts to be interrupted.

"_TIMMY TURNER_!"

Timmy's head shot up. Although that technically wasn't his name anymore, he still reacted to it instinctively. Upon raising his head, Timmy met eyes with someone he never thought he would see again.

"_AHA_! At long last, after days of searching, I've finally found you! You can't escape from me now, Turner, because I am here to prove once and for all that you have..._**FAIRY GODPARENTS!**_"


	10. The Meaning of Life

"Aww, come on, Poof! Don't be like that!" Cosmo, pleaded the purple-haired baby, who was hiding behind a fake potted plant in the lobby of Fairy Headquarters—the building where they had been for the past several hours.

Poof remained diligent, wrinkling his nose and shaking his head petulantly from behind the plastic yucca leaves.

"Poof! You realize this is all your mama's fault, don't you?" Cosmo continued, waving his hands emphatically, "She was the one who came up with the idea! You can't be mad at _me_, I was unmercifully dragged into it!"

Poof looked up at Cosmo and glared at him, his lips in a stubborn pout. He was still wearing Timmy's hat, and when he looked up it slumped over his eyes.

Cosmo regarded Poof and the hat sadly. He reached out and gently nudged the hat above the baby's eyes. "You know..._Timmy_ was the one who messed up the plan, anyway," he said. "You can't be that angry at _us_! How were we supposed to know how happy he'd be that way?"

Poof gave him an even more angry look and defensively pulled the pink hat back down to cover his face.

Cosmo frowned. "Okay, so maybe it wasn't a _perfect_ plan." he paused. "...but like I said, it wasn't mine."

Poof just floated there, crossing his arms with a hat over his face. Cosmo crossed his arms, too.

"It's not like this is the stupidest thing anyone's ever done, Poof!" he exclaimed. "It's not like this is the stupidest thing _we've_ ever done!"

Poof pushed his hat back off his face and looked at Cosmo vexedly.

Cosmo didn't look at Poof but stared blankly ahead as his realizations came together. "Of course, none of _those_ times involved us losing our...favorite godchild...that we...loved and cared more deeply for than any other godchild we've ever had..."

Cosmo's lip quivered and he collapsed down in front of Poof, who narrowed his eyes at him.

"_I'm sorry, Poof_!" he exclaimed, joining his hands in a begging gesture, "_Please, please forgive me_! I can't speak on behalf of your mama but _forgive ME_, at least!"

Poof turned his head away from Cosmo and looked in the other direction, unmoved. Cosmo noticed this and regathered himself, getting up and taking an authoritative stance.

"Poof, you listen to me!" he said, raising a finger in the air, "If you don't stop ignoring me and refusing to forgive me then I'll..._I'll_..._set myself on fire_!"

With his back facing Cosmo, Poof ignored him.

Cosmo balled his fists. "And don't think I won't!" he insisted. "Because I will!"

Poof continued to ignore him.

"Alright, fine, Poof!" Cosmo exclaimed. "I tried reasoning with you but you've left me with no choice!"

Cosmo _poof!_ed up a giant flamethrower.

"I'm gonna do this!" Cosmo yelled. "You've missed your chance! You can't stop me!"

Poof _poof!_ed up an umbrella and held it over his head apathetically to shield himself from the giant wave of fire that erupted behind him, Cosmo screaming in the background.

After the fire ended, Poof _poof!_ed the umbrella away and crossed his arms again, maintaining his indifferent stance.

Cosmo, who was now a pile of ash on the ground, managed to raise his wand and _poof!_ himself back into regular fairy form. He glared at Poof. "Don't you keep ignoring me, young man! And don't pretend that I did that for no reason, either! I set myself on fire to try and prove a point to you!...even though I'm not exactly sure what it was!"

Poof yawned, still facing the other way. Cosmo grew angrier by the second. "_Poof_! If you don't—I'm gonna—if _you_...if you..._I_..."

Cosmo bit his lip. After a few more seconds, he dropped his hands and hung his head in defeat.

"Oh, who am I kidding, you have all the right in the world to be mad at me," he spoke miserably. "I...I'm sorry, Poof. I loved Timmy just as much as you did. I'm sorry."

Poof did not turn around to look at his father. Cosmo looked up at Poof and sighed, degradedly backing away from the yucca plant.

The green-haired fairy adjusted himself and floated out into the middle of the lobby he and Poof were in. Practically nobody else was in the building. Considering it was a Sunday morning, it wasn't particularly odd, but still a bit eerie how large and empty the HQ was.

Cosmo floated out of the lobby and down the connected hallway. The first door was to Jorgen's office—the same one he, Wanda, and Poof were automatically transported to the dreaded night before. Cosmo went inside the room.

Jorgen wasn't there, but Wanda was. She was busy sorting through the many files of the Potential Godchildren drawer, different papers and files scattered around everywhere. Her back was turned to the door.

"Wanda," Cosmo said.

Wanda lifted her head in surprise and turned around to face Cosmo and the doorway. "Oh, good, Cosmo, you're back. You can help me look through these files now."

Cosmo gave her a sad expression. "I don't want to," he mumbled.

Wanda gave him a slightly annoyed, slightly empathetic look. "Well, we have to. And me doing it all alone is going to take twice as long if you don't help me."

"But I don't want another godchild, Wanda!" Cosmo emphasized. "I want Timmy back!"

Wanda narrowed her eyes and began flipping through the files again, turning her back to Cosmo. "Well, we can't always get what we want," she said irritably. "We have to face it, Cosmo. Timmy doesn't need us anymore. His life is perfect now, and we shouldn't be with a child who doesn't need us."

"But—!" Cosmo exclaimed, "But we're the ones who made his life perfect!...On accident, but still. It was _us_! We _magically_ turned his life perfect."

Cosmo flew farther into the room, closer to Wanda and the desk. "So...so...what's the point if we can do the same thing for _all_ of _these_ kids?" he gestured to all of the potential godchildren files laid askew, "If we can just automatically turn their lives perfect like we did to Timmy? Without a wish, without them even knowing? What's the point of having fairy godparents then, if it's that easy?"

He paused, retreating from the desk.

"What's the point of...us?"

Wanda, who still had her back turned, stopped rifling through the papers.

Silence filled the room for a few agonizing seconds, before Wanda began to flip through the files again.

"Help me look through these files, Cosmo," she said quietly.

Cosmo frowned, wringing his wand in his hands, "But Wanda, didn't you hear what I just sai—"

"_Help me look through these files, Cosmo_," Wanda repeated coldly, in a grave tone.

Cosmo dropped his hands to his sides slowly.

"...okay," he said dejectedly, flying up beside her at the desk.

* * *

The hunchbacked man stood proudly pointing a finger at the boy sitting in front of him, panting.

"So, you thought a change of your wardrobe and a move across the town was enough to stop me? Well, you were certainly wrong about _that_."

Timmy stared at him in surprise for a few seconds.

"_Mr. Crocker_?" he exclaimed, incredulous. "What do _you_ want from me?"

"I think you know _exactly_ what I want from you, Timmy Turner," Mr. Crocker raised his eyebrow smugly, "if that _is_ your real name."

"Well, it's not," Timmy replied crossly, "Not anymore. Why does it matter to you? I'm not even in your class anymore. Can't you find some other random kid to harass?"

"_NO_!" Crocker bellowed. "Because none of those _other_ children possess what you possess, Turner! And I'm here to prove that all of this good fortune so quickly bestowed upon you is indeed the work of your..._**FAIRIES**_!"

"What the heck are you on, you crazy old man?" Timmy snapped. "I don't have fairies!"

"_LIES_!" Crocker shouted, "Deny all you want, but you can never hide the truth from me, Turner! _Neveeeeeerrrrr_! _HAHAHAHAHAHAHA_!"

Timmy did not move, he just sat on the bench staring blankly at Crocker.

Crocker stopped laughing after a few seconds. He frowned at the boy. "What are you still doing here? You're supposed to be making a run for it while I chase after you." He waved in a shooing motion at Timmy. "Go on, now!"

"I'm not going to make a run for it because I have nothing to run from," Timmy said flatly. "I told you already. I don't have fairies."

Crocker glared at him. "Of course you do! How _else_ did you life become so perfect so quickly? Riddle me that!"

Timmy rolled his eyes. "I don't know, but it wasn't because I had _fairies_. You need some serious help."

"Of course I do!" Crocker shouted, "but that doesn't take away from the fact you have _FAIRIES_."

"I don't have fairies," Timmy insisted.

"Do too!"

"Do not."

"_Do too_!"

"Do _not_!"

"_DO TOO_!"

"_Do NOT_!"

"_DOOO TOOOOO_!"

"DOOOOO_ NOT_!"

"Alright, _THAT'S IT_!" Crocker shouted, hoisting the boy up by his shirt collar. "I will _prove_ to you that I know you have fairies, there will be no more denying!"

Crocker reached into his pocket with his free hand and produced a remote. He held it in the air and pressed a button.

"_TO THE CROCKER CAVE_!"

Crocker's corresponding Unsuspecting Van drove itself up to the curb of the street. He jumped in the van and pulled Timmy in with him—with strangely nobody else at the park noticing/caring that an old man was taking a young boy with him into a van—and sped off.


	11. Magical Memorabilia

_A/N: To everyone reading this right now, you're really cool. Way cooler than I am...for I am a mere pancake. You are all the maple syrup. And you complete my breakfast. Ah, that was deep. And also supremely cheesy. I like cheese...wait, don't leave yet!_

* * *

Crocker burst into the entrance of his house. The old, creaky door nearly flew off its hinges. He ran in, still dragging Timmy by the shirt collar.

He ran past the kitchen, where his mother was pulling something out of the oven.

"Denzel, honey, you're home!" Mrs. Crocker called after him, "would you and your friend like some cassero—"

"_NO TIME, MOTHER_!" Crocker screamed in haste. He proceeded to run down the winding stairs to the basement of the house, and whereupon reaching the bottom of the stairs, stopped in his tracks.

"_BEHOLD_!" Crocker exclaimed, dropping the boy on his feet. "_THE CROCKER CAVE_!"

Timmy looked up to see the giant lair that had walls of television screens, crazy gadgets and devices laid out all askew across the entire perimeter, and a giant flashing sign at the top that read, 'THE CROCKER CAVE.'

"...you built an evil lair in your basement?" Timmy blinked, as though this was the first time he'd ever seen this place (which, for all he could remember, it _was_).

"Well, actually, it started out underneath Dimmsdale Elementary," Crocker explained, walking into the middle of the Cave. "From there, I continued to expand it. There are now _several_ entrances to get here—from the school, from my house, from Dimmsdale Fried Chicken, from a nearby flamboyant drinking establishment, so on and so forth..."

Crocker blinked, realizing what he had just said.

"...don't tell my mother about that last one I mentioned," Crocker said.

Timmy was walking around the Cave, looking around at everything in complete bewilderment. "I can't believe you actually have something like this! How much did this even _cost_ you?"

"Oh, just a bit of blood, toil, tears, and sweat," Crocker said, "but nothing in comparison to how much it's going to pay off when I reveal to the world the existence of _**FAIRIES**_!"

"Seriously, what is it with you and fairies, dude?" Timmy asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why are you so hung up on them? Did they ruin your childhood or something? Seriously, man..."

"_Here_!" Crocker exclaimed, carrying out a giant box. The box was labelled on the side, 'TURNER PROOF.' "Here is all the evidence I have gathered of you, Turner, and the proof that you have..._**FAIRY GODPARENTS**_!"

Crocker dropped the 'TURNER PROOF' box at Timmy's feet and removed the lid. Inside was an assortment of seemingly random things.

Timmy bent down to look at them. There were many papers, ripped out pages from notebooks, crumpled napkins, and other things of the sort that all had written messages on them.

On one torn up paper, a note was scribbled, "_April 16th. Saw Turner eating a Twinkie. Turner produced 2nd Twinkie from nowhere. FAIRIES!_" On another paper, it read, "_December 12th. Saw Turner outside with green, pink, and purple chipmunks. Chipmunks hibernate in winter. FAIRIES!_"

The rest of the papers generally read these sort of things. Amidst these papers were also lots, and lots of photographs. Timmy looked through the photos in bemusement.

There were photos of Timmy doing things he couldn't remember, wearing things he couldn't remember. There was one of him singing on stage with Chip Skylark, another of him wearing a cat outfit, and many of him doing just random, everyday things. There was one of him buying an ice cream cone at the park. There was one of him walking his green, pink, and purple dogs down the sidewalk. _That_ picture struck Timmy as particularly odd, because he couldn't remember owning any dogs.

Looking at more pictures, there were random ones of his old house. There were close up photos of Timmy's bedroom window, where strange figures were silhouetted in the shadows of the drawn curtains. There were photos that were cut off, that had random people's arms, or parts of their legs, or their...wings?... at the sides. There were photos of two green and pink squirrels arguing. More photos of Timmy walking his dogs. More photos of Timmy at the park. More photos of Timmy's house. There were a couple pictures of Mrs. Turner in the front lawn. Finally, there was a photo of Mr. Turner running at the camera with what looked like a chainsaw.

Timmy flipped through the photos in complete shock. He felt like he should be completely creeped out that Crocker had taken so many candid pictures of him, but he was too busy wondering when the heck any of these photos had taken place. He couldn't remember _any_ of them.

"_Mother, for the last time_!" Crocker shouted up the basement stairs. "_I don't want any of your tuna casserole_!"

"_You never appreciate anything I do for yooouu_!" Mrs. Crocker whined.

A few seconds later, a casserole dish came hurling down, smacking Crocker in the face and sending casserole flying everywhere. Crocker exclaimed in fright.

After gathering himself again, Crocker walked back over to Timmy, bits and pieces of casserole still in his hair. "Sorry about that. My mother can be a terrible pain..._all of the time_."

Timmy looked up from the box at Crocker. Between his confusion of the things in the box and the bewilderment of being in the Crocker Cave, it took him a moment to gather his thoughts on what to say.

"Alright, Crocker..." Timmy said, glancing back down at the box skeptically, "since you seem to know a lot about it, tell me a little bit more about this whole...'fairy godparent' thing."

Crocker scoffed. "Well, you _obviously_ know about it already, but I suppose I'll humor you."

Crocker clapped his hands twice. The lights in the Cave went off, and a blank screen was suddenly projected on the wall in front of them.

Crocker walked up to the screen. "First, let's start with the basics." he pulled a remote out of nowhere and pressed the button. A screen projecting the word 'fairy' and its definition displayed, which Crocker read aloud: "A _FAIRY_ is a being that is composed of and possesses _pure magic_. They have the ability to use this magic any which way they please, except for a few minor restrictions, which we will get to in a moment," Crocker stated.

He pressed the button again. A similar slide popped up, this one with the definition of a 'fairy godparent.' "A _FAIRY GODPARENT_ is a _FAIRY_ who dedicates their magical supply to a specific human child—or child_ren_, in some cases—that they are assigned; aka, the 'godchild.' These _FAIRIES_ are usually trained and have completed special educational requirements specific to 'godparenting.'"

He changed the slide again. It showed a picture of a sad-looking young boy. "When a child leads a miserable life, he or she is eligible to be assigned a _FAIRY GODPARENT_."

Suddenly, a fairy appeared on the screen beside the boy. The boy was now smiling and happy. "When in possession of a _FAIRY_—or _FAIRIES_—a child is able to receive anything they want through means of 'wishing.' The _FAIRY GODPARENT _is then obliged to grant the wish. These wishes can range from simple things, to complex things that warp the time-space continuum. There are only three things magic _cannot_ interfere with: love, death, and Rubik's cubes. A child is usually given his or her _FAIRY GODPARENT_—or _FAIRY GODPARENTS_—during prepubescence, but at an age that the child can be seen as responsible enough."

The boy on the screen began to age, turning into a teenager. "As a child ages, their youthfulness and childhood innocence is left behind, and by the age of adult..." the boy onscreen aged into an adult, "...they are too old to keep their _FAIRY GODPARENTS_ any longer, and the _FAIRY_ is then taken away from them."

The boy, now a man, waved goodbye to his fairy. The fairy disappeared.

"After the _FAIRY_ leaves the child for good, all of that child's memories of having the _FAIRIES_ are erased," Crocker went on, "as though they never had them in the first place. The _FAIRY GODPARENT_, in turn, moves onto their next godchild, and the cycle repeats. However..."

The man on the screen suddenly reverted back to a boy again, and the fairy appeared back beside him.

"There are many _other_ things that could happen to take away the child's fairies," Crocker said. A 'Da Rules' book popped up on the screen with a big red X on it. "If the child breaks the rules too much with their wishing..."

A random girl appeared on screen beside the boy. The girl gasped and pointed at the fairy.

"...if the _FAIRY GODPARENT_ is seen by a human being other than their godchild that does not possess _FAIRIES_ of their own..."

The rule book and the girl disappeared. The boy was suddenly surrounded by a giant pile of money, looking very happy.

"...if the child becomes too happy to need his or her _FAIRY GODPARENT_ anymore..."

The giant pile of money disappeared, and the boy began waving at his fairy.

"...or, if the child simply does not want their _FAIRY_ anymore, and the child proclaims it aloud."

The fairy on the screen disappeared. Then, the entire projection went off, and the lights in the Cave all went back on.

"These are the many ways a child can lose his _FAIRIES_. Each time, the child's memory of the _FAIRY_ or _FAIRIES_ is completely eradicated. Therefore, it is for a good reason a child will try to keep his or her possession of them a secret," Crocker said. "Unfortunately for you, Turner, your secret is _out_."

Timmy stared at Crocker. All of the information he had received so quickly, he had to take a moment to let it sink in.

"But...I don't have fairy godparents," he said quietly.

Crocker rolled his eyes, "I thought you'd have gotten over the denying thing by this point already! Just give it up, Turner!"

"I'm not lying, though!" Timmy exclaimed, getting up from his seat next to the box. "I really, honestly, don't have fairy godparents! At least...I can't _remember_ having them."

He dug through the box and pulled out a photo of himself that looked like he was talking to three goldfish in a fishbowl. He frowned, looking hard at the photograph.

"Maybe you're not such a crazy loon, Crocker," Timmy admitted. "But I guess if you _are_, that means I am too. If I _did_ have fairy godparents once...I need you to help me find them."


	12. The Hunts Begin

"Susie Martin," Cosmo said lazily, flipping through the pages of yet another file. "Age eleven. Lives in Fairbanks, Alaska. Nah, too cold."

The green-haired fairy tossed the file to the other side and grabbed another one, opening it up and reading its contents. "Billy Waters. Age ten. Lives in Miami, Florida. Ooh, nice. Possible pet covers: cats, parakeets, iguanas..." Cosmo blinked. "Huh. Iguanas. That'd be weird. I don't think we've ever been iguanas before. I wonder what it would be like being an iguana...what do you think it would be like, Wanda?...Wanda?"

Cosmo looked over at her. The pink-haired fairy was sleeping, her head laid down on the desk with files lying open all around her.

Cosmo frowned. "Waaandaaaa..." he poked her a couple of times, but she was fast asleep.

They had been in the room for a very long time. Cosmo dwelled on the idea that he could go do something else now that Wanda was unable to yell at him for it, but at the same time, he didn't know what else _to_ do.

He looked at all the pile of files that they'd already gone though. It seemed like nothing compared to the giant pile that they still had left to look at. He glanced over at Wanda again, and realized she was drooling.

"Eeew, Wanda, you're getting spit all over the papers and the desk," Cosmo said with repulsion, "You know, Jorgen's not going to be happy about that..."

Cosmo then realized that, oh, right, she was asleep and couldn't hear anything he was saying. He raised her up off the desk with his wand and contemplated what to do with her.

Eventually, he decided to _poof!_ her and himself out into the Fairy HQ lobby, and dropped Wanda onto one of the sofas. He then pondered what to do next.

He still wasn't sure. But he was kind of hungry. He could go get a sandwich. Or a burrito. Or a sandwich and a burrito. With extra cheese. And some tacos. With salami. And meatballs. And extra taco sauce. On all of it. Okay, maybe he was really hungry. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd eaten. Considering they'd been there for hours, it was a wonder that he hadn't keeled over by this point.

He would've floated there blankly contemplating food for a long time, if he wasn't suddenly interrupted by a "Poof-poof?" from behind him.

Cosmo spun around, meeting eyes with the baby who has flown out behind him. "Poof, you came out from behind the plant," he stated the obvious.

"Dada," the baby replied, and embraced Cosmo tightly. Cosmo blinked in surprise at Poof's show of affection. He smiled, and quickly hugged him back.

Poof pulled away, and Cosmo looked at him expectantly. "Do you forgive me now?" he asked.

"Poof-poof," Poof replied in affirmation with a smile. "Poof..."

Poof removed Timmy's hat from his head and held it out to Cosmo.

"...Timmy," he whimpered, looking at the hat and then back up at Cosmo with big, shiny eyes.

Cosmo understood what Poof was saying, and glanced back over his shoulder at the sleeping Wanda. "You're right, Poof," he whispered, and then gave him a determined look. "We've gotta find Timmy."

* * *

"You realize, Turner, that I have no reason to trust you."

"Well, I have no reason to trust you either."

Crocker took a bite out of a piece of bacon.

"I suppose...in a way, that makes us even?"

Timmy took a bite out of his slice of cake.

"I guess so."

The two erstwhile foes were sitting across from each other in a booth at Cake'N'Bacon (another place that Crocker had created an entrance to from the Crocker Cave). It was around seven in the evening now, and the two were eating their high-cholesterol dinner together with thick tension in the air.

Crocker laid down his piece of bacon and pulled out his familiar tracking device. Crocker turned the tracker on and pointed it directly at Timmy. Nothing happened.

"Since my fairy tracker indicates that there are no magical beings around or inside of you, I have no choice other than to believe that you are telling the truth and that you really do not have _fairy godparents_," Crocker said. "But, that is not to say you _never_ had them."

"I know," Timmy stated. "And if I ever did, I want you to help me get them back."

"I'm not exactly sure why you think I'd want to help _you_," Crocker replied, crossing his arms. "After all you've ever done to me, I'm thinking you should maybe give _me_ something in return if we find them."

Timmy shrugged. "...I can pay for this dinner?"

Crocker scoffed. "The price of this meal is nothing but trivial! I want something _bigger_, something _better_, in return for my services to you."

"Like?"

"Like..." Crocker grinned evilly. "...one of your fairies."

Timmy frowned. "How do you know I even _had_ more than one fairy? What if I just had one?"

"You obviously had more than one, Turner!" Crocker insisted. "Didn't you see the pictures? Green, pink, purple. Three different colors, three different fairies!"

"I guess that does make sense," Timmy said after a moment, "But why would I have needed three fairies? If one is enough to grant my wishes, why _didn't_ I just have one?"

"Exactly!" Crocker replied. "That's why you should give one to me!"

"Well, there was probably _some_ reason I got three and not just one, wasn't there?" Timmy continued. "What if they were a family, or something?"

"_Who cares about families_!" Crocker snapped. "Do you want me to help you or not?"

"Alright, alright, fine," Timmy rolled his eyes, "If it's the only way you'll agree to help me, I guess I'll give you one."

"So you agree one-hundred percent, that if you did have fairies and if we do find them, you'll give me one of your fairies?" Crocker inquired in anticipation.

"Yeah, sure."

Crocker suddenly produced a document out of nowhere that had 'CONTRACT' written at the top in bold, red letters. He thrust a pen at Timmy.

"And you'll sign this contract agreeing to the fact of what you just said?"

Timmy took the pen and signed the contract half-heartedly. "Okay, can we—"

"_YES_!" Crocker shouted, standing up in his booth and throwing his fists up in the air excitedly, "_At last, I will FINALLY get exactly what I, Denzel Crocker, have yearned for all of these years—MY OWN FAIRY_!"

He began to laugh maniacally, all other patrons of the Cake'N'Bacon turning to stare at him.

A waitress approached Crocker and Timmy's table. She glanced awkwardly from the laughing man to the blue-hatted boy that was still seated. "Did you...guys...want a split check, or...?"

"I'll take the check," Timmy replied flatly.

After what was about a minute and a half, Crocker stopped laughing abruptly, cleared this throat, and sat back down in his seat. Everyone else that was watching him quickly lost interest, turned away and resumed to what they were doing.

"So anyway!" Crocker said quickly, "About finding and catching your _fairies_. Take this."

Crocker handed him a small device with a button on it. Timmy took it, a bit hesitantly.

"What is it?" Timmy asked.

"Press the button," Crocker urged him.

Timmy pressed the button on the device. Immediately, the gadget began to expand into a long, metal rod, forming a circle at one end with a lightweight mesh hanging from it.

Timmy gave it a weird look. "...a butterfly net? How is _this_ gonna help us catch a _fairy_?"

Crocker joined his hands together. "You've got a lot to learn, sonny boy."


	13. Return

"There!" Crocker declared, tying the last rope down to the large tree. "The fairy trap has been set in place!"

"Okay, so tell me again why you think this was necessary?" Timmy asked flatly, staring at the large contraption in the sky, camouflaged only by the thick setting of trees around it. "And why you thought it would be a good idea to put it in this park?"

"What we're doing with this, Turner, is simply tracing your steps," Crocker replied. "You were here a few hours ago, claiming you didn't have _FAIRIES_. Therefore, this could in fact be the same place you happened to _lose_ your _FAIRIES_ at. By that logic, it's as good a place as any to set a fairy trap!"

"But...what are the chance of them still being here?" Timmy asked skeptically. "Does this mean we're going to go around setting traps in _every single place_ I was this past week? And how does the thing even work?"

"Oh, questions, questions, questions!" Crocker said irritably, "_I_ am the one with the gadgetry here, aren't I? _I_ make the decisions on where we search! We have nothing to lose!"

"I think you've _already_ lost something, Crocker," Timmy rolled his eyes.

"As for your last question, the way it works it quite simple," Crocker explained. He pointed at a long rope—one end of the rope was tied to a tree branch, while the other end was tied around a hanging slab of meat. "When a _FAIRY_ comes by to eat the rump roast hanging here—because, as we all know, no fairy can resist rump roast—they will end up pulling on the string, setting off the net above that will collapse on top of them, trapping them with no means of escape. And when the trap goes off, it will also set off a alarm that alerts you and me that a _FAIRY _has been captured."

Timmy gave him a dubious expression. "...how do we guarantee only a fairy would set off the trap and not, like, some random squirrel?"

"Will you calm it _down_ with all of the questions?" Crocker snapped. "Now let's get away from here and keep an incognito watch over at one of the picnic tables."

Wondering why in the world he had agreed to any of this, Timmy begrudgingly followed Crocker to one of the picnic tables.

A few seconds later, Cosmo and Poof both _poof!_ed into the park on the other side of the large tree Crocker and Timmy had been standing at before. Cosmo was holding a tracking device in his hand, and he and Poof were both staring down at it.

"Okay, according to this Timmy Tracker that tracks the microchip we implanted in Timmy, he has to be _somewhere_ around here," Cosmo said, looking up and all around him.

"Poof-poof."

"Okay, Poof, you look this way," Cosmo said, pointing a finger in one direction, "and I'll look _that_ way. And then, we can both—"

All of a sudden, Cosmo gasped, he and Poof both both noticing the same thing.

"_Rump roast_!" Cosmo shrieked. "Hanging from a tree right beside us in an suspiciously conventional way?... _Awesome_!"

He and Poof both rushed up to the hanging hunk of meat and began to feast on it feverishly.

Timmy and Crocker were now sitting at the picnic table across the park and not paying attention to the trap at all, quite insouciantly playing a game of cards.

"Do you have any sevens?" Crocker asked.

"Go fish," Timmy replied dully.

After mere minutes, Cosmo and Poof had eaten almost all the way through the rump roast, only mangled bits and bones still hanging from the rope.

"Well, that was fun!" Cosmo said cheerfully, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. Then he stared blankly at the baby. "...wait, what were we doing here again?"

Also mesmerized by the rump roast, Poof shrugged. Suddenly, the _poof!_ of another fairy sounded beside the two and they both looked up to see who it was. It was Wanda, and she did not appear happy.

"Oh, hi Wanda!" Cosmo said cheerfully, completely oblivious to her angered expression.

"Cosmo, Poof, what the heck are you two doing out here?" she snapped. "Need I remind you we have a _job_ we must attend to?"

"_You're_ the one that fell asleep," Cosmo replied, licking his lips. "and how did you even _find_ us out here?"

Wanda irritably held up two trackers (similar to the one Cosmo had), one in both of her hands.

"I tracked the microchips implanted in you two, of course!"

"Oh..._riiiight_," Cosmo said. "Well, too bad you missed the rump roast. On the bright side, though, you can help us find Timmy now!"

"Timmy?" Wanda exclaimed. "Is that what you two are trying to do? Find _Timmy_? I _thought_ we went over this already! We can't go back to Timmy!"

"Hey, don't look at me, this whole thing was _Poof's_ idea!" Cosmo insisted.

"Poof-poof," Poof rolled his eyes, always glad that his father was by his side.

Wanda sighed. "We have to go back to Fairy World. All three of us. We can't keep denying—"

While she was talking, Wanda had accidentally tapped the rope that the rump roast had been hanging on earlier. Even though Cosmo and Poof had been yanking and pulling ferociously on the string moments earlier, _that_ gentle touch was what finally set it off.

A giant net fell down on the three fairies, and a noisy alarm began to go off.

"_AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH_!" They all promptly screamed.

Crocker's head snapped up, and he tossed his hand of cards. "_FAIRIES_! The trap has been set off!" he declared, as though Timmy couldn't hear the sirens himself.

"Look what you did, Wanda!" Cosmo exclaimed, putting his hands over his ears. "Now we're all going to _die_!"

"What _I_ did?" Wanda yelled back over the alarm. "Why were you two floating next to a giant net?"

"We just wanted the rump _rooooaassst_!"

Crocker and Timmy both ran over to the trap with the fairies in it. Crocker screamed.

"SEE! LOOK!" Crocker shouted, "_I told you this trap would work! I AM A GENIUS_!"

Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof all looked over at the two humans at the same time, alarmed, and saw Timmy.

"_TIMMY_!" they screamed in unison.

Timmy stared at the three, flabbergasted. "...How do you know my name? Who _are_ you people?"

"Who _are_ we?" Cosmo exclaimed incredulously, then proclaimed proudly: "_I'm Cosmo_!"

"_And I'm Wanda_!" Wanda followed up.

"_AND WE'RE_—" they stopped abruptly, and looked at each other awkwardly. "—uhhh..."

"_FAIRIES_!" Crocker finished for them, jumping up and down. "You're _FAIRIES_!"

The man began running around the park dancing. Timmy looked skeptically from him back to Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof.

"So, you guys..." he began, pointing at them, "...are my fairies? Or...used to be my fairies."

"We used to be your fairies!" Cosmo shouted. The alarms were still going off. "And we came back to find you!"

Timmy looked back at Crocker, who was still frolicking around. Then he looked back up at them. "If you're my fairies, why did you leave me in the first place?"

"We didn't leave you because we wanted to," Wanda now spoke up. "We left because you said you didn't need us anymore!"

"Because you said your life was perfect!" Cosmo added sadly, "But the real truth is, _we're_ the ones who made it perfect! We made up your parents!"

"You made up my parents?" Timmy repeated, very confused. "You mean my parents aren't real?"

"No! I mean, yes, but I mean, no! Not the ones you're living with!" Cosmo continued. "We just made up your new parents and the whole switched-at-birth story because Wanda wanted to teach you a lesson and _it's all her fault_!"

"I'm _sorry_, okay!" Wanda yelled back. "You were just so sad, Timmy, and I didn't want to see you like that! I didn't _know_ everything was going to come crashing down like it did!"

Timmy blinked, staring at them. "I...I don't know what to think now. How can I trust you guys? I don't even know who you are!"

"You know who we are, Timmy!" Cosmo insisted. "...or, at least...you used to..."

"Poof-poof!" Poof squeaked, flying up to the side of the net. He removed the pink hat he was wearing and held it up for Timmy to see.

Timmy stared at the hat, then at the baby. "You have my old hat? You...you guys..." he blinked. "...you really were my fairies."

"AND NOW ONE OF THEM IS _MINE_!"

Timmy spun around, looking up at Crocker, who had finally stopped dancing and was panting heavily as he stood behind him, a crazy look on his face. He pulled out a remote, pressed a button, and the sirens stopped blaring.

"Oh, yeah, I also meant to ask," Cosmo continued, "_Why are you hanging out with that crazy guy_!"

"He'd promised me he'd help me find you guys," Timmy said awkwardly. "And, well, he did."

"And now I get one of you!" Crocker said giddily, rubbing his hands together.

"What do you mean, you _get_ one of us?" Wanda demanded.

"Well, in exchange for my services to Turner in finding you FAIRIES," Crocker explained smugly, "he told me I could have one of you!"

"_WHAT_?" Cosmo and Wanda exclaimed in terror.

"Yep!" Crocker exclaimed in delight. He pulled out the contract from earlier. "He even signed this contract!"

Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof looked at the contract and gasped in horror.

"Crocker, look!" Timmy shouted, "Behind you! There's a child in intense pain!"

"_WHERE_?" Crocker threw his arms up and spun backward, looking around frantically.

Timmy acted quick and yanked the net off of the fairies. "Quick!" he shouted, and began running down the block with them following after.

Crocker turned back around, and saw the four taking off down the street. "Drat! I've been bamboozled, but you're not getting away from me _that_ easily, Turner!"

Crocker began chasing after them. Timmy kept running, looked up at the fairies that were by his side.

"Uh, sorry about this little digression," Timmy spoke awkwardly, "Is there any way I could wish for my memory back?"

"Well your memory was wiped, Timmy!" Wanda shouted, "and when memory wipes happen, it's with Forgeticen! There are four things magic can't interfere with: love, death, Rubik's cubes, and _Forgeticen_!"

"Are you serious?" Timmy said, running faster. "You mean there's no way I can get any of my memories back? That's just...depressing!"

"Yeah, there's only _one_ cure for Forgeticen!" Cosmo added sadly, "Jorgen has the antidote, but he keeps it locked up in his office at Fairy HQ! _He'd never let us useeeee iiiiiiit_!"

"Well, I don't know who Jorgen is, but it wouldn't hurt to ask him, would it?" Timmy asked.

"_It probably would_!" Cosmo said fearfully.

"Plus, Jorgen's been on vacation for the past couple of days, he hasn't even been in his office while we're in there!" Wanda said.

Timmy glanced at both of them. "Wait, you guys can get in his office?"

"Well, yeah, he's leaving the place _completely_ _open_ and _unlocked_!"

Timmy blinked and stopped running. "...why don't we just go in there and take the antidote, then?"

Cosmo and Wanda both stopped flying and looked at him with surprise. "...oh."

Timmy grinned and raised his finger. "Let's go to to Fairy HQ!" he spoke determinedly.

Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof raised their wands and rattle, and quickly all four of them disappeared.

Crocker was still running, about ten feet behind where they had just left. He fell on his knees, still panting, and raised his fist into the air.

"_Make my words, Turner_!" he yelled up to the sky. "I will find you and take your _FAIRY_!_ I WILL_!"

* * *

_A/N: ...The original ending I had planned for this story was driving me to my (few) wit's end, so I've decided to go with plan B here and finish off quicker. There's only one chapter left, which I'll have up super soon. Thanks for reading._


	14. And The Reversal

Timmy popped his head out from beneath Jorgen's desk.

"Did you guys find anything yet?" he shouted.

"Not yet, Timmy!" Wanda called back, digging through cabinet drawers.

"Poof-poof," Poof said negatively.

"_I found a quarter_!" Cosmo replied. "And what I think is a piece of chewed gum...oh, and a bunch of photo albums that are full of pictures of the Tooth Fairy...in a bikini!"

"_Here_!" Timmy emerged from one of the desk drawers and pulled out a long, yellow rod with a purple star button on one end of it. "What's this thing?"

"Press it and see what it does!" Cosmo suggested.

"Okay," Timmy said. He started to bring his thumb down to press it.

"Wait, _no_! _Don't_ press that, Timmy!" Wanda suddenly shouted, alarming Timmy. "_That's_ the forgeticen! _That's_ the thing that wiped your memory!"

"Really?" Timmy said in surprise. He rolled the stick over over in his hands—revealing the word 'FORGETICEN' printed in block letters on the other side. "...ohhh. Right."

"Where did you find that?" Wanda asked, flying over to him. "Chances are, he keeps the antidote near it."

"Just in this drawer," Timmy said, pointing down. He tossed the forgeticen stick behind him. Timmy, Wanda, and Poof started to dig through the drawer.

The stick hit Cosmo in the head, who was still looking through the photo albums. He dropped the albums and yelped in pain.

"_Poof-poof_!" Poof shouted victoriously, emerging from the drawer with a vial filled with a milky, green liquid. A picture on the front of the vial had the forgeticen stick with a big red X on top of it.

"You found it!" Timmy took the vial from Poof. "Thanks, dude. You're pretty smart for a baby."

Poof shrugged. Timmy opened the vial and smelled it. He was immediately repulsed.

"Well, I _hope_ this is it," Timmy said skeptically. "Here goes nothing!"

He tipped the vial back and chugged the green liquid down. After finishing it, he shut his eyes and dropped the vial in disgust.

"Are you okay, Timmy?" Wanda asked worriedly.

Sparkles began to float around Timmy's head. After a moment or so, Timmy opened his eyes again, and stared at Wanda and Poof blankly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said, blinking, "I can...I can remember now! I can remember everything!"

"YAY!" All three of his fairies cheered, rushing over and hugging Timmy.

Timmy hugged all three of them back, still a bit mesmerized. "Geez, how could all of this have happened? I'm really sorry, you guys. I have no idea why or how I could ever have neglected and abandoned you guys like that. I just...don't even know."

"Oh, it's alright, Timmy!" Wanda exclaimed. "A lot of it is our fault, anyway."

"You mean a lot of it is _your_ fault," Cosmo corrected her.

Wanda glared at him. "Okay, yes. A lot of it is _my_ fault. I guess it goes to show that there is no point in trying to teach people lessons around here, because it never works. Or backfires insanely."

"You got that right!" Timmy laughed. Then he thought for a moment and said, "Sooo...this is the part where I wish everything back to normal again, right?"

Cosmo and Wanda both opened their mouths to say something, but before they could, a loud, commanding _POOF!_ came from behind them.

It was Jorgen. He was wearing a Hawaiian shirt and sunglasses, holding a cocktail in one of his hands. He looked down at the four people inside of the room.

"Alright Cosmo, Wanda," Jorgen said, drinking his cocktail, "I'm back to hear your guys' decision on which new godchild you are going to—wait a minute, _Turner_?"

Jorgen removed his sunglasses and stared at the boy, blinking. "What are you doing in my office? Oh wait, don't tell me..."

"We came back to find the antidote for the forgeticen so he could drink it and get all of his memories back!" Cosmo said cheerfully. Wanda, Timmy, and Poof all glared at him. Cosmo blinked. "...what?"

Jorgen shook his head. "You really have no hesitation in breaking every single rule that ever existed, do you? Plus, that was my last bottle of forgeticen antidote! Well, too bad for you, Timmy Turner, because that means when I wipe your memory _again_, you'll _never_ be able to get it back."

"Aw, come on, Jorgen, really?" Timmy asked, holding his arms out. "You're really gonna wipe my memory again and take my fairies away from me forever?"

"Well that was what I did in the first place!" Jorgen exclaimed irritably. "_You_ were the one that said you didn't need them anymore. They're not even yours right now, anyway. You may have your memories back, but they still can't grant you wishes."

Jorgen raised his wand, and pointed it accusingly at Cosmo and Wanda. "And _you_ two! What is your deal? Bringing a human that is _no longer_ your godchild into Fairy HQ? You two do realize the punishment for breaking The Fairy Code, don't you?"

"A...few harsh words and then a promise to never do it again?" Cosmo guessed.

"More like _three hundred years of probation_!" Jorgen snapped.

"Three hundred years of probation?" Wanda exclaimed.

"_How _many years of probation?" Cosmo asked.

"Three hundred..." Jorgen blinked. Sparkles suddenly began to float around his head, similar to the way they floated around Timmy's head earlier. "three hundred...uh..."

"_How_ many years of probation?" Cosmo asked again. He was now smiling for some reason.

Jorgen frowned. "Well, it depends on how badly you broke the rule." he raised an eyebrow. "Wait a minute, how badly did you break the rule?"

Wanda gave him a weird look. "Wait a minute, but you just said it was three hundr—"

Cosmo put a hand over Wanda's mouth and held up the forgeticen stick (the same one that Timmy had thrown at his head earlier) and pressed it again.

More sparkles floated around Jorgen's head. The large fairy blinked a few times and shook his head.

"_How_ many years?" Cosmo asked again.

"How many years of what?" Jorgen asked in confusion. "What the heck are you all doing in my office? Timmy Turner! What _you_ doing here? I took away your fairies!"

"Are you sure about that?" Timmy smirked. Cosmo pressed the button again.

"I'm sure—" sparkles came up around Jorgen's head again. "...of something. I'm sure of something...wait...what were we talking about?"

"I don't know," Timmy said. "I was just going home, with my fairies. The fairies I have had forever and never lost or told anyone I didn't want them."

"Oh," Jorgen replied with a frown. "Well, alright then. I guess I'm going home, too."

Cosmo pressed the button again, and sparkles came up around Jorgen's head again.

"Well, alright then," Jorgen repeated like he was in a trance, as though he had never said it before, "I guess I'm going to the grocery store."

Cosmo pressed the button again.

"Well, alright then, I guess I'm going to the circus." Sparkles again. "Well, alright then, I guess I'm going to Canada."

Cosmo giggled. "This is fun!"

"Alright, Jorgen, we'll see you later," Wanda waved at him. "We have to go home now."

"Home? Oh, that's a good idea," Jorgen said, shaking his head dismissively, "I think I should go home too, the Tooth Fairy is going to be mad at me if I—" Sparkles again. "...wait, who's the Tooth Fairy?"

"Okay, I think that's enough," Wanda pulled the stick out of Cosmo's hands.

Timmy smiled at looked up at his fairies. "Guys...I wish we were back home."

Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof all raised their wands and rattle to excitedly grant the wish.

The four of them reappeared in Timmy's bedroom at precisely the right moment.

"_Timmy_!" Wendy called from the hallway. "I baked you some _cookies_!"

"Oh, check this out, Timmy!" Cosmo exclaimed, throwing open the door. Wendy was standing right outside in the hallway, holding a plate of chocolate chip cookies. She stared straight ahead blankly, with her signature smile.

Cosmo then proceeded to cheerfully rip Wendy's face off—revealing the robot underneath. Wanda flew up and opened Wendy's chest cavity, which had several beeping meters, radars, and buttons, with labels like 'BAKING,' 'CLEANING,' 'COOKING,' and et cetera.

"The Robotic Housewife 3000! Everything you ever wanted in a housewife, without the regret afterward!" Cosmo exclaimed.

At that moment, Charles suddenly walked into the room, also ignoring the fairies with a big cheerful grin on his face. He was holding a football.

"Timmy, my boy!" he exclaimed, "how's about we go toss the pigskin back and forth?"

Cosmo ripped his face off too, also revealing that he a robot.

"Now, that would be a bad idea," Wanda said, pulling the sleeve of Charles's shirt back to reveal his robot arm, "his arm isn't even _built_ for the tossing motion."

Timmy smirked at the two fairies, crossing his arms. "Wow, you guys really put a lot of work into this whole shenanigan. I'm impressed."

"We got lazy after these two," Cosmo said.

"The daughter we created—the one we said you were switched at birth with—we didn't program her to do _anything_," Wanda added. "Heck, I don't even think we gave her a name."

"It's a good thing my parents are complete morons, cuz they probably haven't even noticed yet." Timmy rolled his eyes. "Oh, and why a girl, anyway? You guys made me be switched at birth with a girl? Seriously, what are you trying to say to me?"

"We thought it would be funny," Wanda chuckled.

"And it was!" Cosmo exclaimed.

Timmy shook his head. "You guys are terrible."

"We're terrible for _you_, Timmy!" the two fairies flew back over to Timmy and hugged him.

Timmy hugged them back and smiled again. "And I'm glad for that. Now is _this_ the point where I wish everything back to normal?"

"It's as good as any time," Wanda shrugged.

"Alright, cool." Timmy pumped a fist in the air. "_I wish everything was back to normal again_!"

Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof raised their magical instruments triumphantly, and granted the wish.

* * *

Crocker dragged himself into his living room and faceplanted into his couch.

"Denzel, darling, what are you doing?" Crocker's mother called, coming into the living room.

"You won't believe the evening I've had, mother!" he shouted, lifting his head from the couch cushion. "I was finally in the grasp of my own _**FAIRIES**_! and I let them slip so easily from my fingers! One of them was destined to be mine! My own _**FAIRY**_! They were supposed to be _MINE_!"

Crocker twitched, and Mrs. Crocker stared at him.

"Ooh, that reminds me, dear, I need to call your doctor to increase the dosage of your medication," she said, and then she began walking away. "Stay here while I go get the big needle."

Crocker groaned in frustration. "I _HATE_ the big needle!"

* * *

It was a Monday morning.

The air of Dimmsdale was crisp and fresh, as many citizens were beginning to wake up to take on the tasks of the new day. The birds were chirping and the sun was sitting high in the sky.

The digital clock on the bed stand beeped 7 AM.

A magical cloud arose from the fishbowl beside the clock, and rose into the middle of the room.

Three fairies appeared. In synchronization, two of the three fairies exclaimed at the top of their lungs, "_GOOD MORNING TIMMY_!"

Timmy swiftly threw the covers off of his bed and turned to look up at them, his arms crossed.

"Well, sport, are you ready for the first day of your new old life?" Wanda asked jovially.

"The life that you were so miserably living before and were eager to escape, but totally can't?" Cosmo added exuberantly. Wanda glared at him, but Cosmo just shrugged. "Well, what am I supposed to say?"

"It's true," Timmy shrugged, getting out of bed. "This _is_ the miserable life I'm bound to..."

He walked up to Poof, who happily placed Timmy's pink hat on the buck-toothed boy's head.

"...and I couldn't be happier." he said with a grin.

**THE END.**

_A/N: Thank you to everyone for reading this story and being very kind and supportive! You guys are made of awesomesauce and I hope you like cheesy endings, LOL. Hopefully I'll see you guys later, and until then, I'm out! -SJ_


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